How can we part this way
after all the things you said?
Your words were gold and shiny,
now our love is but a thread
of loneliness and heartache
and all sad words we know,
I gave everything of me
to you; my love was bestowed
Isn’t it mysterious how relationships end when we believe all is wonderful? Whether they’re made of romance or friendship, the outcome is the same. Our emotions are activated in heart-tugging manners, questions form, and our minds are baffled. We tried our best to contribute fairly in all that is required to keep a relationship stable. We felt comfortable enough to remove the mask and be ourselves without fear of judgment.
Many factors contribute to broken relationships as J.K. Rowling points out: “Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” We need to show up, we have to participate, and we must communicate. So what happens then when two people part? Where do they go emotionally? Is it just as hard when two friends separate than when two lovers do? More is invested into a romantic relationship because of the physical connection; however, in both cases, there is loss, which is difficult regardless of the details.
One can wade in self pity, spend many moments crying, wondering what went wrong, and all of this is fine. Yet, how much time should be spent on over analyzing? Each break up is different because of its content, but as long as we don’t strive to swim a marathon in those tears, a little bit of emotional cleansing is healthy. Then it’s time to move forward; Steve Maraboli says it well: “Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.”
When these events arrive in our lives, they are another step in the growing up phase, and age bears no relevance. Let us be aware, give in to the hurt, and then carry on into a new beginning.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about past relationships, after reuniting with a girlfriend from many years ago. It was interesting to write on this topic and if any of you are experiencing a break-up, romantic or friendship, I hope my words are inspirational for your future. I also wish you much happiness, with few tears and heartaches, and I’m always grateful for your visits! Sending virtual hugs and love! Lauren ♥
Lauren Scott © 2015
Baydreamer ~ Lauren Scott 
“as long as we don’t strive to swim a marathon in those tears, a little bit of emotional cleansing is healthy.” That’s a very healthy attitude.
Thanks, Ian, it’s an attitude I try to live by. 🙂
Your poem beautifully reminds me of the fragility of all relationships.
Thanks for your kind comment, Michelle. Have a marvelous Monday. 🙂 ♥
Wonderful poem and wise words, Yes I have found relationships of all kinds last while we engage within one another’s energy.. Sometimes that energy/interest wanes, as we move through our own learning and lessons within them.. Each person contributing at the time to what was needed… And then when its learnt, we move on..
Sometimes when I relationship ends for one person, the other person seeks a similar friend, or partner, This is how I see those who move from one bad relationship to another, for they have not yet learned to ‘move on’ and grasp the lessons needed.. And this is why some are victims within abusive relationships,
We are complex, within our worlds of emotions.. and you gave us food for thought as to the beginning and ending of all our relationships with others, and those world wide also.
Wishing you a wonderful week Lauren.. Hugs Sue ❤
Thanks so much, Sue, for your additional insight. Every time I hear or think about abusive relationships, I pray the victim has the courage, support, and strength to get out – I can’t even imagine. Watching those scenarios in movies is frightening enough, let alone adding reality to them.
We are complex, aren’t we? Unique is good for humanity, but if our emotions were less extreme, the world might be a better place. Agree? 🙂 Wishing you a great week, too! Today is the first day of fall, but it was close to 100 degrees. Needless to say, I’m ready for some fall weather. Many hugs to you, dear friend…♥
Very warm still… 🙂 the leaves are just turning and looking wonderful 🙂 have a fantastic week Lauren xx
This Is such a thought provoking post Lauren, and one that I relate to very well, romantically I relate from a situation many, many years ago and friendship-wise something has happened very recently and quite honestly I have absolutely no idea what I have done to contribute. It’s sad but as you said in the quote, cry, forgive, learn and move on. It’s not always about us; sometimes the other party has issues in their lives that cause them to change their behaviour. ❤️ Xxx
Thanks so much, Chris! I’d like to do more writing here instead of only poetry. Anyway, you touched on another valid point being that “sometimes the other party has issues in their lives that cause them to change their behavior.” There is so much truth in your words and a relationship factor I hadn’t thought of. It’s so easy to blame ourselves first – wondering what we did or what we said to cause offense or upset, whether it’s romantic or friendship. I’m super good at analyzing events in life and now I’m trying to channel that ability into my school work! 🙂 Thanks again for your thoughts and let’s just keep moving on…sending hugs! ♥
Your words are always inspirational, my dear Lauren! Have a beautiful Monday and week ahead! 🙂 xxxxx
Thanks, Marina! That’s always nice to know and hear! My work Monday is over and it was a good start to the week. I hope you have a wonderful week, too, my friend! It’s been real hot here, so I’m anticipating some fall weather, for a change. 🙂 ♥ xo
Wednesday now and I hope your temperature there has dropped. We’re having autumn weather [rains] which is really nice! 🙂 xxxxx
Our temp. finally dropped and it was nice to “need” the covers last night instead of kicking them off. 🙂 Rain would be nice, though, and what California needs desperately, but I think the big storm is due for November. Enjoy, my friend…♥
Your poem and your thoughts are so influential and inspiring,dear Lauren!The Maraboli quote you included epitomises it all,my friend!Thank you for sharing with us your emotive poems and your insightful thoughts!~ Happy Monday ~ Huge Virtual Hugs & Love back to You 🙂 ❤ xxx
Aww, thanks so much, Doda, for your lovely and encouraging comment, which inspires me to keep writing. Happy Monday, but Happy early Tuesday, too! 🙂 Much love and light to you, my friend…♥ xo
Deeply wonder-full, and sweetly said. I’m thinking similar thoughts about the many transitions relationships go through that aren’t break-up-or-make-up ones but changes in their depth, intensity, and purpose, too. And this is all worth contemplating in that context as well.
Love to you, my dear Lauren.
Kath
Thanks so much, K, and you made another good point, which makes me think of my marriage and other long term relationships…more food for thought, right? There is so much to contemplate, but right now, my brain needs a rest. 🙂 Have a wonderful, peaceful evening and a great week ahead, too! Much love back! ♥ xxx
I have visited these thoughts. They can be heart wrenching and sometimes relieving. But all in all we are always where we’re suppose to be.
You’re right, Kim – heart wrenching and relieving. The complexity of human behavior and emotions is broad beyond our ability to understand…thanks for stopping by and I’ll be over your way soon, too! ♥
In such circumstances, it is often the unknown factors that grate on our minds and we often never do find the answers. I don’t think those experiences are ever easy, especially if it was a long term relationship.
I agree with you, Binky, and I’ve also experienced this story-line. It isn’t fun, nor easy on the emotions or heart. It takes a moment of realization to move on; knowing there’s nothing else to be done, and whatever has happened is meant to be…
A wonderful post Lauren and insights that touch the lives of so many in this day. Indifference and neglect certainly played a large part in the gradual degradation of my first marriage. We both became increasingly engaged in the demands of our employment and external personal involvement in the community that we slowly lost sight and focus on each other. I think we tend to take for granted the comfort level we grow accustomed to in a long-term relationship and miss subtle indicators that things are not as they should be. Then, as things begin to unravel we become reactive and defensive rather than responsive in a positive way.
Thanks, Don, and I’m so sorry to hear about your first marriage.That also happens when all time, energy, and love goes into raising the children. Then all of a sudden they’re on their own and the couple hardly knows each other anymore. My husband and I are fine, but we both have changed over the years, and now that I’m older, I understand more clearly how long term marriages/relationships can end…anyway, thanks again for sharing that part of your life.
Thanks for such a thought-provoking and inspirational post, Lauren. xx
Thank YOU, Jean, and sorry for the late reply! 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend! xxx
Late reply! (That’s my line).
You could only have written those words Lauren, by looking into my mind, you captured exactly the emotions I have unfortunately endured twice in my life, the wading in self pity and confusion can last months into years, until the memory’s begin to fade and become less intrusive, life then takes over and a new beginning dawns on the horizon.
Beautiful realistic insightful words Lauren.
Aww, Ian, thank you for your comment. I’m sure most of us have had our share of pity parties and I hope your new beginning has begun. Wishing you a great weekend!
Thanks for that lovely comment, Sunday evening here now, a new week dawning, kindest regards.
LEARNING CURVE
Attachment causes pain
As ruptures remind us
The pain bids us explore
The source of attachment
I think this is a long learning curve, Ben…:)
As long as we get there in the end. 🙂
People come into our lives. People vacate our lives.We fall in love, we fall out of love. Some I miss, some I am grateful for their segment of presence, some I wish I never met. One thing I think is important is that we should not have a self identity based on the presence or absence of people in our lives.
I agree with you in everything you said, Carl, and your last line tied them all together perfectly. I’m sure not everyone abides by that last “should not” though…very profound, thanks for your insight!
I have been through something recently like this with an old school friend.who is keen to be friends again. It’s hard as I am not as enthusiastic as I was hurt very deeply and obviously don’t want to be hurt again. So my walls have come up but I feel really bad because she keeps trying so hard to make things work and I am taking no initiative and I am not giving anything away. Therefore, I feel like I am hurting her but the guilt is not making me do anything to rectify it. It’s a vicious cycle and I don’t know what to do. Friendships and relationships can be very complex 🙂