Compromised

Dear Friends,

I had every intention to read blogs this past weekend, to ‘get caught up’ as we all say often. But last week I received a new diagnosis and the symptoms decided to bark loudly instead over the weekend. Concentration was far from reachable, but I took advantage of moments when the symptoms rested, and that’s when I put thoughts to paper in my journal. Please know that my transparency is not for sympathy. If you recall, I shared about a health issue that began last year, well, this is new, but the doctor thinks it’s all connected – ten months later, the big picture has changed. So, below is my catharsis in the form of a haibun (or similar to one with an extra haiku):

Compromised

The rain and wind collaborate for a stormy Sunday. I look through the window, a deluge of raindrops plummet to the street and lawns, and the tall oaks and firs bend unnaturally. Inside, the house feels safe and warm, but this new presence feels like a knife in the gut. What used to be an infrequent timeline is now an everyday visit. What used to be mild is now moderate, or sometimes, severe. A relationship I don’t care to nurture. Pain closes in, becoming more intimate, but not the intimacy that makes my heart skip a beat. No, this type, and where it could lead, paralyzes because fear sidles up beside it. A duo not to be reckoned with. Cancer hasn’t knocked on my door, nor has a death sentence. But the ability to walk long distances or hike on a mountain trail, slips through my fingers like tiny grains of sand.

My body feels broken – not fully – but broken – because my feet and legs take the brunt. I miss the ‘me’ I used to be. And then there is sleep, or lack thereof because of throbbing and/or electric shocks, thieves in the night that rob me of those dream-filled deep slumbers. The persistence is like a doorbell gone wild. Negative thoughts push their way in for the spiraling, mirroring the stormy weather, but my inhale and exhale create a brick wall – blocking them from breaking me more. Although, no easy ‘fix’ heads my way, so each day I struggle to keep hope beside me. Focus on what I can do, they say. I try. Ask questions. Get answers. My mindset waivers, but the support encircling me helps keep my sky blue.

an MRI shows
narrowing from wear and tear
nerves agitated

he says it’s common
not comforting to body
spinal stenosis

(I’m exploring all treatment options, such as injections, meds, surgery,
physical therapy, etc.)

I don’t know how this week will go or how much time I’ll spend blogging, but I’m hoping for quiet nerves. The weekend was yesterday; today is a new day. I also hope to get answers to many questions this week.
Please know that I appreciate you all!

Love and hugs, Lauren ❤️🙏

© Lauren Scott, Baydreamerwrites.com – All rights reserved.

A collection of poems about nature,
love, and the mysteries of life.

Click on the image to purchase your copy.
Thank you! 💚


Counting the days!

Time is flying, minutes are passing by at lightning speed, the days are staying lighter a little longer, and tomorrow, Wednesday, January 31st, is the last day to vote! Again, thank you to Dagmara and her team for publishing my work. I’m honored to be nominated for this award, and to be among wonderful friends who are amazing writers! As far as I’m concerned, we’re all winners! 🎉🎉

To vote, you’ll need to log in, and I know this can be challenging. But I do appreciate your time, effort, and support! I really do! 🙏

I’ll leave you with a poem from my book (the poem from which my book found its title) to guide you through today and days to come. I’ve shared it before, so enjoy for another reading!

Ever So Gently

Sometimes we get lost
in our thoughts…
losing focus of the stars
lighting up the night sky.
We tumble too deeply
into the frontal lobe,
allowing negative thoughts
to awaken, to throw a tantrum.

Remember, the breeze carries
burdens down rivers
and across oceans,
majestic trees sway with joy,
sheltering from shadows,
and the light shines even if only
a slight glimmer slips through.

Its glow will grow ever so gently
into a bright beacon of hope
rising with the golden sun
bringing clarity to our vision.

© Lauren Scott, Baydreamerwrites.com – All rights reserved.

A collection of poems about nature,
love, and the mysteries of life.

Click on the image to purchase your copy.
Thank you! 💚

Nomination for 2023 Author of the Year from Spillwords Press!

Dear Family and Friends,

What a surprise I discovered last night to find an email from Dagmara at Spillwords Press informing me that I have been nominated for Author of the Year for 2023!

The following nominees for Author of the Year are:
 
SmithaV
Michelle Ayon Navajas
Cindy Georgakas
Lauren Scott
Suman Pokhrel
Verity Mason
Nial Crowley
Vidya Venkataramanan
Caroline Ashley
Adele Evershed
Rob Wilcher
Dawn DeBraal
Ernie Stricsek

A soft reminder, I was voted Author of the Month for May 2023 where I shared that exciting news here: https://baydreamerwrites.com/2023/06/01/spillwords-press-author-of-the-month-for-may/

I also had the pleasure and privilege of doing an interview with Dagmara, which I shared in the post below:



A Big Thank You to Dagmara K. and her team for recognizing my work and for this wonderful nomination!!!!

** Please remember that you’ll need to log into Spillwords to vote, and voting is happening now and will end on Wednesday, January 31st!

Good luck to all the amazing authors!

Thanks so much for your kind support! ❤️🙏🏻
Photo by George Dolgikh on Pexels.com


Photo credit for flowers goes to me.
Spillwords logos from Spillwords Press.

© Lauren Scott, Baydreamerwrites.com – All rights reserved.

A collection of poems about nature,
love, and the mysteries of life.

Click on the image to purchase your copy.
Thank you! 💚

Baby steps are good!

This past Christmas, Santa brought me an inspirational journal with some coloring options. I haven’t owned a coloring book in decades, probably since my youth. Maybe I joined in the fun with my kids when they were young. I honestly don’t remember. Anyway, I thought I would give it a try because it sounded relaxing. Well, after the strawberries came to life, my neck began to bark at me. Who knew that coloring could be tough on the body! I sat at the table with my head down, all concentration geared towards keeping the red within the lines. I suppose with any activity, some part of our body will begin to bark sooner or later. So, baby steps, right?

For any goal we set, we begin by taking baby steps. No one starts out at the top. Everyone finds their starting point at the bottom then the climb begins until the destination is reached. This doesn’t mean we won’t stumble, but we will press on. So, I’ll return to this beautiful image, and soon the blooms and leaves will come alive in their wardrobes of oranges, yellows, purples, pinks, and greens. One small step at a time.

Have a wonderful day and thanks for dropping in to my little corner of blogland! ❤️

© Lauren Scott, Baydreamerwrites.com – All rights reserved.

A collection of poems about nature,
love, and the mysteries of life.

Click on the image to purchase your copy.
Thank you! 💚

A Milestone to Celebrate!

January 21, 1989

The constellations
the moon
the sun
the whispers in the trees
the breeze around
our faces
the waves
kissing the shore
They all knew
before we did…

When we first met, the future gave no intimation as to what it held for us, but what evolved was a love without a finish line, deepening as we basked in each moment spent together.

Whatever path we chose in the past, whatever path we choose in the present, we walk hand in hand facing the unknown, facing the adventures.

His life is built around mine. My life is built around his.

I wrote about how we met here. But how we’ve stayed together is an entirely different chapter in our book. Of course, love is the key component, but the other significant elements that follow love are friendship, unselfishness, wanting each other to be happy, communication, and listening. And though we’ve had disagreements, we’ve never had turbulent fights, nor have we stooped to name-calling. My mother-in-law gave us a card that had sage advice for newly married couples. One piece of advice was never to go to bed angry. We never have. So, we feel proud to reach 35 years, but we also feel fortunate to have found each other to share our lives with, and we hope to celebrate many more anniversaries to come. ❤️

He and I became us.

© Lauren Scott, Baydreamerwrites.com – All rights reserved.

A collection of poems about nature,
love, and the mysteries of life.

Click on the image to purchase your copy.
Thank you! 💚

Reconnected

He had just entered the world
his body tiny and delicate
a bundle needing to be loved
His skin darker than theirs
but this made no difference
Joy danced in their hearts
when he became family

but with each passing birthday
the skin color confused him,
badgering his emotions
like poison flowing
through his veins
causing him to act out
in unforeseen ways

their circle was broken
when he walked out the door

leaves on the trees
changed their wardrobe,
falling over and over and over again
his silence shattered their world

until he walked through the door
realization in his heart
realization in his soul
embracing them for the love,
for the home they gave him

skin color irrelevant
they were family
reconnected

© Lauren Scott, Baydreamerwrites.com – All rights reserved.

Just click on the image to purchase your copy,
and if you enjoyed this collection,
please consider sharing a review
on Amazon and/or Goodreads.
Reviews are like hugs.
 💚

“Sweet, sweet poetry to my ears” from Brian! A Big Thanks from Kym and I again!

I am honored to be featured on Brian’s site, writingfromtheheartwithbrian, in the best company of Kym Gordon Moore who authored We are Poetry: Lessons I Didn’t Learn in a Textbook. Kym is a wonderful writer who always has you pondering the deeper meaning of life. If you haven’t met her yet, please take the time to visit her site: frombehindthepen. You’ll be glad you did!

In Brian’s post, he shares his vulnerability while writing about his early tumultuous relationship with poetry. His humor is what I absolutely love about his blog posts. I know he’ll always make me smile – he simply has that gift. Here’s a brilliant example of how he expresses his feelings about poetry, “I would see the poetic beauty of some of my favorite songs, but poetry and I kept our distance. We were like two shy seventh graders at a school dance. I didn’t come near poetry, and poetry didn’t come near me. We kept our eyes on each other, but didn’t dare talk or ask each other to dance.”

And then he read Kym’s book and mine, and his feelings about poetry shifted…

“But, if it’s possible to turn a large team of sled dogs in the Yukon wilderness like old Sam McGee, before his unfortunate demise, then I think there might be hope for me yet. In fact, I have two poetry books I can’t recommend strongly enough: fellow bloggers Kym Gordon Moore’s We Are Poetry: Lessons I Didn’t Learn in a Textbook and Lauren Scott’s Ever So Gently.

Kym reminded me why I love writing and why poetry matters. “We write because we have a story to tell and emotions to express. We are touched and moved in unexplained ways and want to connect with others who experience the same bottled up emotions as we do.”

Kym’s essays remind me that poetry is a personal thing. It’s meant to be taken in and no one can tell us how to feel. We feel what we feel. I read her poem “Like An Eagle I Soar” and felt myself soaring too:

my strength is renewed, with wings as an eagle
graceful, strong, and courageous I take flight
to heights I never imagined were possible

I was lucky on two fronts, first to come across Kym’s book and then to find Lauren’s and to race through her book, captivated by her use of imagery and the scenes that she lays out for the reader. I especially found her use of language pulled me deeper into the writing and the nature around us. In her poem “I Wonder” she playfully asks if pine needles “wiggle in delight until they float to the earth.”

I don’t know about other readers, but I read that line and I was hooked. She had my undivided attention. My very adult worries and responsibilities were far from my mind. I was a little kid again looking up at the leaves in the trees…I had to read the next line and the next and the next. She continues:

“I know I would cheerfully slip on my dancing shoes
if the sky above me suddenly exploded in vivid oranges
as though hope itself pushed through all the debris
that I’ve allowed to clutter my mind.“

Thanks so much for stopping by! ❤️❤️❤️

© Lauren Scott, Baydreamerwrites.com – All rights reserved.

Just click on the image to purchase your copy,
and if you enjoyed this collection,
please consider writing a review,
a hug for indie authors.
 💚

Redwood Fence Tops

When the sun descends behind emerald, rolling hills
and evening offers all that it owns, my husband falls
into a serious slumber in a matter of seconds – I am envious.
It takes more than seconds for my mind to shut down,
for thoughts to pause for an evening’s repose.

The flowers in our garden turn in for the night,
and the smiles in their blooms wait for dawn’s greeting.
Critters burrow in their homes, although darkness calls some
to come out and play and we miss the show.
Our dreams carry us through minutes and hours
until night bids farewell,
the cue for morning to slide into her spotlight.

And when she does, we witness again the glorious sun
rising over those rolling hills,
one more sky where clouds stay hidden,
one more kiss from each other,
the one who accelerates our heartbeats…
when our children our home, they gift us with another hug,
age is irrelevant…from babies to adults,
their hugs are priceless like the moment we draw a new breath.

And don’t forget how nature delights with her offerings…
our feathered friends sing their wake-up chorus of joy,
bushy-tailed squirrels skitter along redwood fence tops.
How do their tiny feet not miss a step,
tumbling their little bodies to the ground?

So, we wipe the sleep from our eyes, gratitude flows through our veins,
for all that was lost in the darkness has been found on this fresh, magnificent day.

© Lauren Scott, Baydreamerwrites.com – All rights reserved.

Just click on the image to purchase your copy,
and if you enjoyed this collection,
please consider writing a review,
a hug for indie authors.
 💚