I look at the frail man lying in the hospice bed whose body is slowly giving up. My eyes close.
Is he my father? The pillar in my life?
It’s tough to accept because my father stands next to me in the 8×10 frame on the peak of San Gorgonio mountain, highest in Southern California.
At 65, he hiked up and down that mountain, 18 miles round trip. Sun hat, t-shirt, long pants, smile, heart full of adventure, this man, so full of life.
The end of his trail draws near. Grief will find its way, no doubt. and I will surrender, then I will shout to the universe in celebration of the incredible man he used to be.
Until that time, I look at his face, I bend down to kiss him on the forehead. I focus on his good eye, and I see my wonderful father who stood beside me on that mountain top.
It has been a wild, exciting ride with the launch of my new book and all the wonderful support I’ve been given. But in the midst of the excitement, my father-in-law has been on hospice for almost two weeks, and it’s been tough, to say the least. A surreal time, waiting for the inevitable. But his large support circle ensures that he is comfortable and loved, which is most important.
Before he started to decline, we already had our backpacking trip reserved in the Sierra Mountains, but with his encouragement, we are still going. Although, due to my foot issue, we decided that I shouldn’t push it. My foot has been cooperating, but I’d hate to overdo it and take five steps backwards. So, we’re camping. We’ll be relaxing by the lake, surrounded by ponderosa pines and nature’s warm embrace. And this is really what we need. My brother-in-law will ‘hold down the fort’ while we’re gone. He also told us to go. “Dad wants you to enjoy the adventure.” We will have our Spot X satellite device though to stay in touch. And obviously, if something changes before we plan to leave, we won’t go. Always ‘one day at a time.’
So, I’ll be offline next week and will return the following week of the 21st. The photo above is from one of our trips to our favorite Sierra lake, and the poem below is in my book and one I wrote while sitting on the shore in the company of the smooth water, and journal and pen (and hubby, of course.)
The Sun Knows
Evening advances. The shore wears nothing but a few rocks scattered on its sand. In their quiet space, a father and son hold fishing lines hoping their luck will lift. A lone sailboat glides by pausing for the unfolding. With hair the color of an egret, an older man leans against a stump.
Clouds understand why we wait. A fine yellow highlighter has delicately outlined their smooth edges. Occasionally, trout jump out of the still water, only a few ripples show their excitement.
Then suddenly the sky explodes in tangerines, salmons, canary yellows – brighter with every second. It’s as though a painter swished her brush back and forth on the immense backdrop, to the left, to the right, repeating with the grace of an orchestra leader. Can the sun slipping behind downy clouds be more spectacular?
The blog tour will continue when I return and I have to share two more beautiful reviews:
Reading Ms. Scott’s poetry is like roaming the pages of a spiritual book and you can feel a connection. Upon picking up this book I first read “Ever So Gently” and felt an instant connection, as I’ve lived such moments myself during bushcrafting adventures, connected to nature and all of creation. As I continue to read, each poem is equally as deep and reveals not only the writers soul, but my own. ~ Scott Mitchell – Lauren Scott will touch your soul.5 stars
What an endearing gathering of short poems, some written as Haiku and other syllabic poetry, but all comforting, calming, restorative. Presented in three sections, these verses pose the wonder of nature, the love of family, even the delight of a pet. An elegant medley. ~ Joy Neal Kidney – An endearing collection.5 stars
I am humbled and grateful for these lovely reviews, and I want to thank you all for the ‘book’ support, the visits, the comments, and the love. So, have a Fabulous week! Stay well and Be happy!
Baydreamer Writes ~ Lauren Scott, Author 