Your words form a pattern
offering no semblance of
connectivity and their tone is
uninviting. Repetition takes the
lead and the cadence in your
syllables lacks originality.
They say that love is blind
and my eyes validate their
ruling. Tomorrow the sky
will be blue, but not my heart.
I shall buy new specs, for their
effect has weakened over time.
It would seem after all the warm
summer nights, sipping iced tea
with joined hands; after all the
cups of coffee shared at sunrise,
our love would be stronger than
the caffeine consumed by us.
I’d rather not witness more
alphabet rolling off your tongue.
The consonants only match the
stubble on your chin and the vowels,
well, they’ve no place to land, for I’m
no longer wearing the catcher’s mitt.
Lauren Scott © 2013
36 thoughts on “Three Strikes”
Great work, really enyoyed this one.
Thank you very much!
I love the intolerance of betrayal vibe here – very strong…nice work Lauren!
Thanks so much, Charlene, I love that you caught what I was trying to convey! This wasn’t one of my “nicer” poems, but I’m sure we’ve all been lied to before and have been hurt by the betrayal…thanks again, my friend! xo
Very bleak Lauren, and beautifully captured mood. Love it
I know, not an uplifting poem, and yet, it does convey strength to move on after betrayal, but more happy poems will come soon! 🙂 Thanks for your kind words, Chris! HBL ♥
No worries about the poem not being uplifting Lauren! None at all; Im all for writing about the darker things too; I was given such advice by a blogging friend who is a publisher. She actually said to me when I told her I didnt know whether I should post some of my poems. She said “never be afraid to write about and share the dark stuff; its part of life” ❤ Xx
Thanks, Chris, and I agree…writing comes from the heart and sometimes, the heart hurts from life’s realities…over the weekend, “lies” came to mind and how many of us could relate to betrayal and these sarcastic words came to mind. 🙂
You are so original in your poetry Lauren… Loved it.. 🙂
Thanks, I think, Sue! 🙂 I hope you’re feeling much better, too! xxx
The cough is still lingering, But I am MUCH MUCH better thank you Lauren xox
Hi Lauren! Love this! Especially the part with the warm summer nights… !!
Sending you positive and warm vibes. This afternoon I tanned… it’s November and it felt like it was summer. How cool is that?
Thanks so much, Cha! I thought of “lies” and was inspired! lol I appreciate the vibes and send some back to you, too! Today has been the coolest day, otherwise, it’s felt more like summer here, too! Glad you were able to enjoy the beautiful weather! Hugs!
Your words send a real and true message to be understood, if one would but open their eyes!
Thanks, Wendell! I became inspired over the weekend after thinking about anyone who has been betrayed and lied to…it’s not one of my cheerier poems, but reality. 🙂 Hugs!
P.S. you are a very wonderful writer….my sister…God bless!
Aww…Wendell, you are very kind, my friend, and reading your words at the end of my day really was the icing on the cake! Thank you and hugs and blessings again!
This is really very good Lauren! I love the slight sarcasm underlying there, it works so well. You should do a reading of this one!! 🙂
Aww…thanks, Suzy, I’m glad you liked the little bit of sarcasm! 🙂 I wonder who can relate? I may do a recording on SoundCloud, but we’ll see…Thanks for stopping by, while on your break, and I hope you enjoy your time! xx
Another beautiful poem. ❤
Thanks so much, my friend! More of reality that’s not so nice! 🙂 ♥
Isn’t that the truth. ♥ hugs
I like the bluntness of your words. Great metaphors too..
Thanks, Kim, it’s a bit blunt, but sometimes we have those moments and I’m working hard on those metaphors, so I really appreciate you commenting on them! 🙂
Thanks, my friend! xo
My kind of poetry! Love it:)
Thanks, PJ! 🙂
You very welcome:)
Wow such a different write from you. Had to check twice just to make sure it was yours. So many perfect layers to this…Just love it and may I say “welcome to the dark side” 🙂
You brought a smile to start my day, too funny! Well, I have written some other “darker” poems, but you may have missed those…this poem has nothing to do with those, but they are inspired by some bad news we received a year ago. That cloud still looms over us, so occasionally, a poem is born. Over the weekend, I was thinking about how often people are lied to and these words came to mind. I’m glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate your comment, too! 🙂
The wry sharpness of this brought a smile to my face. Enjoyed! 🙂
Thanks so much! I thought about how many of us have been lied to and I will admit this was fun to write! 🙂
Strong feelings in this one. Time to move on.
I feel the heart and backbone in this one, Lauren. Very good! XO ♥
Thanks, Diane, it was fun, to say the least! 🙂 Big Hugs! xoxo