Guilty or Not?

I have several projects pending but nothing new to share right now. So, I came across this post from 2018 and thought it was worth a second showing. For those of you who have already seen it, I appreciate you taking the time to read again…

Have you ever compared your success to that of your friends, neighbors, or acquaintances? I assume most of us have; I know I’m guilty.

If you compare yourself to your perception of others, then the possibility of your self-esteem deflating is great. The negative assumptions you allow to roll around in your mind can be harmful to your mental well-being. Even though the outward appearance seems perfect, it’s exactly that. ‘Seems’ is the operative word.

Is there one method of how you measure success? Essentially, it’s up to interpretation. What does success mean to you? Do you have goals that you’re working toward? What kind of person do you aspire to be? In my opinion, here’s what you shouldn’t do – don’t give dollar signs too much power in measuring success. They can be misleading. Other factors display victory, such as volunteering, honest work ethic, being a loving husband, wife, partner, parent, sister, daughter, son, or friend
The list is endless.

Think carefully how you measure success because the last thing you need is to fall into a depressed mind-set caused by comparing yourself to others. Letting those unfavorable thoughts take control of your mind will only cause clutter and make your life messy. Instead of focusing on the success of other people, focus on what makes you feel victorious. Set some goals and go for it!

Do you have any thoughts on this subject? Any experiences? 
For example, I’ll start by saying that I never attended college post high school graduation. I made the right choice at that time in my life. But for some reason over the years, I turned my lack of college degree into an unbearably heavy burden, frequently comparing myself to those who held that academic accomplishment. As a result, I often experienced my mood shifting into negativity. I allowed those pessimistic thoughts to pull me down, to second-guess my decision years ago, and to negate the fact that I was a wonderful wife to my amazing husband and a loving mother to our two awesome children. If that isn’t success, I don’t know what is!

As some of you may remember, I did a post years ago about returning to school. I was excited and had taken all the English courses (which I loved and aced!) needed for an Associates Degree. Then I began thinking, “Why am I doing this?” I thought deeply about what going back to school would entail. Sure, the diploma would look great hanging on the wall next to my husband’s and children’s. But the thought of holing up behind a closed door, doing homework for the next several years, all of a sudden didn’t appeal to me. Alternatively, I wanted to focus on my family and the interests that I was passionate about. I came to the realization that a college degree doesn’t define who I am. I’m Me with or without it. I still pursue my passion for writing without that specific validation. I didn’t quit, though. I just chose not to continue, but I am grateful for taking that big step onto a campus thirty-six years after I walked across the stage waving my high school diploma. It wasn’t easy. I had to muster up a big helping of determination and courage to be able to sit in a classroom with young students eager to face their future head-on. With this being said, I met some other adults just like me, so I soon grew comfortable in this new setting.

Everyone shows vulnerability in some manner; this admission is mine. Since this realization, I have gladly discarded the choice to “college-compare” because we’re all successful in different ways. And when I acknowledged this discernment, that heavy burden was released, too. I could breathe easier and my mind decluttered of that negativity. The clear view was stunning!

The easy road spirals downward; the challenging road stimulates your mind and nudges you to look deeply within yourself.

Be You!!!
Sending love and virtual hugs,

Lauren 💗💗💗

All photos courtesy of Google images.

You are Worthy and Worth It!

How often do we criticize ourselves after looking in the mirror?
How often do we respond to a complement with a simple “thank you”
instead of an apologetic excuse?

How often do we feel unworthy of being loved or of being liked?

Relationships constantly change; some grow into deeper, meaningful commitments, and others fade. Sometimes compatibility shifts, maybe commonalities become less harmonious, or people grow in different directions.

When we land in situations that create heartache and leave us feeling lonely, we need to keep our emotions intact and not be so hasty to point the finger at the person in the mirror. Negative thoughts have a large impact on the perception of living. If we allow ourselves to fall into darkness for too long, it could be dangerous. Unfortunately, my family endured a tragic loss five years ago and there were no outward signs.  More often than not, those dangerous thoughts are kept safely inside of our minds. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of courage.

Below is a poem written by my friend, Jessie Jeanine at http://jessiejeanine.com/. She is a woman of Faith, Love, and Forgiveness. Even after all she has endured, she moves forward with self confidence and perseverance, setting an example for anyone who is struggling with low self esteem. I encourage you to visit her blog for more inspiration and enlightenment.

Scars are Beautiful

Do not tell me I am beautiful

If my scars you have not seen…

The scars on my arms and legs
From being stabbed and cut with blades,
The scars on my back from being whipped,
Or the scars across my stomach from being sick

Do not tell me I am beautiful
Not until you see
Both the darkness and the light
Consuming my mind, in a fight to be free

Do not tell me I am beautiful
Until you have seen me cry
When I break down and show you
Everything, I keep buried deep inside

Do not tell me I am beautiful
Until you know what plagues me
Night terrors and horrors
Please hold me… arms of safety

Do not tell me I am beautiful
If my fears you have not heard;
If my soul you do not understand
Because of pain I have endured

Do not tell me I am beautiful
Until you have cared for me ill
From diseases I was born with
As I fight to stay well

Do not tell me I am beautiful
If my scars you have not seen…
The ones burned deep into my flesh
And my very being

However,
If after you see all of my scars, learn of my fears
And listen to even a portion of what I have survived…
If after all of that, you still accept me and think I am beautiful

If you can kiss my scars without pity
And not be ashamed of me –
If you can see how all of them make me
The perfect woman, survivor and being

Then maybe… just maybe, I will believe you.
I will believe you when you tell me that,
“I am beautiful…”
I am a beautiful woman and human being.

http://jessiejeanine.com/2014/01/08/scars-are-beautiful/

Some people experience hurt to an extreme degree, while other’s experiences are milder. Regardless, please remember that You are Worthy and You are Worth It
no matter your age; a pessimistic mindset does not discriminate. We all feel pain, but it’s up to us individually to work through it so we can live, laugh, love others, but most importantly, love ourselves again.

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.”
Sophocles

Before you leave, please say this to yourself, “I am Worthy and I am Worth It!”

worthy

 

I wish you a Wonderful, Blessed Wednesday and I thank you for reading.

Lauren Scott © 2015
Photo: Google Images

 

The Here and Now

living in the here and now

I won’t be sharing a poem in this post, something a little different for me. Instead, I felt like sharing some thoughts. I hope you enjoy and feel free to chime in, too! ♥

It’s so easy to let our minds wander into the future, worrying about what could happen. It’s not difficult, at all, to let anticipation of something negative impact our daily thinking. Anything is easy, as long as it’s the antonym of optimism. Would you rather think the worst to prevent disappointment, instead of thinking positively and probably having a good day?

I confess. I’ve had these moments. Then there comes a time when we have a choice to make. We can wear a frown, stay miserable, ruining not only our day, but days for those around us. Or we can turn the frown upside down, hope for the best and have a little faith that all will work out.

Yes, very cliche. I’ve experienced, though, truth in these words. If I carry a positive attitude throughout my daily routine, I find that things do work out in the end. Have I been disappointed? Of course I have. In fact, our family is still in the midst of catching a curve ball thrown to us last fall. I’d love to throw it back! Instead, we’re trying to dodge it to the best of our ability.

Last year, after researching what we’re dealing with, on the internet one night, I cried so hard I created a twitch in my right cheek. It lasted for about a week. Boy, did I really work those face muscles! Crying is not a weakness, but a cleansing of the soul. However, too much of it can cause havoc! Needless to say, worrying about something that hasn’t happened, that could happen, probably will, but we’re really not sure, is just not worth any more hairs to highlight!

So I’m learning to live in the HERE AND NOW even more than I did before. We have today. We have today only. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring or ten years from now, but we can be happy this very moment and carry a lighter load. We can make the best of the gift of life for us, individually, for our loved ones and for our friends. 

Someone very special once said, “It’s all about the Here and Now. I’m living my life for today.”

So I encourage you to Make Each Moment Matter, Each Day Count and Together, Lets Live In the Here and Now!

With love and smiles,
Lauren

FINAL EDIT