One day the sun guides you with its glorious rays, the world spins in its usual manner, then out of thin air, in the blink of an eye, the cliché is yours, under a sullen sky, plans become fractured. Life is altered in a skipped heartbeat that was slow to join the rhythm of the others. My emotions feel awkward. They seem wilder, body feels heavy as though pewter crowds my veins, but I don’t walk in their shoes. Meeting challenges head-on distracts heart and mind, but in the hush of turmoil, I imagine their emotions will morph into wild too. Until then, questions soar like baseballs out of a batting machine. Some answers remain elusive. Others may be clear as morning dew but tricky to swallow – digesting turns into a test of the human spirit. What comes next? Only uncertainty is for certain.
It doesn’t matter if we’re celebrating the best thing that ever happened, or staring at our heart lying on the floor in millions of tiny pieces. Time moves ahead (seemingly) as if we pushed the fast forward button. Those hands on the analog clock have a mind of their own, turning and turning, making our heads spin, wondering where the hours have gone. Where have the hours gone? How does a decade ago feel like yesterday? Why does my mind tell me I’m forty when my driver’s license tells me I’m wrong? Just yesterday, my daughter and son played with Lego and Barbies. Today they’re adulting, living with bills that show up in the mailbox on a monthly basis. Always prompt. Just yesterday, I took my last photo of our senior pup, not knowing it would be the last photo I would take of him. Right now, a man in his seventies is undergoing bypass surgery. Just yesterday, he and his wife were walking on one of their routine five-mile daily walks. Time is precious. Do we need reminding? We’ve heard it before, but have we ruminated on the concept, held it in the palm of our hand, massaged it, comprehending? This is the question as the conveyor belt of life carries us from here to there, wind in our face. But do we notice what’s in the middle? Because in the middle is what we shouldn’t miss.
My hubby and I are going away for the weekend, returning home later Sunday. It’s been a while since we were able to get away, even for a few nights. So we’ll celebrate our 36th, his 65th, my 64th, and our 13 years with Copper Boy! January, February, and March brought a whirlwind of emotions. I’ll be offline while away, and confession time: I am so behind in reading blogs, but I look forward to visiting your blogs next week.
About March 27th…
Today marks the day when Copper came into our lives in 2012 – his adoption day, his gotcha day! Today marks 3 1/2 weeks since he left our earthly world. And though our hearts still ache from missing him (look at this face), we celebrate his life and the 13 years we all had together. 🤎
Photo credit to my daughter – a younger Copper
“You will always be in our hearts, Copper, you handsome boy.” ❤️
Thank you for staying with me during this time of grief from when our 14 1/2 year old puppycrossed over the rainbow bridge on March 3rd. We will see him in the next life. 🌈
I want to leave you with another poem for Spring, another oldie, from my memoir: More than Coffee: memories in verse and prose:
Her Offerings
Harmony lives in each flow of a breeze In each gentle embrace of evergreens The clear blue enchantingly shields Let nothing stay concealed.
Blooms tender their affable smile Leaves listen in for awhile Birdsong soothes the whirling mind A landscape perfectly designed.
Nature’s lessons are plentiful Shall our choices be flexible? We are not ignorant to her offerings Receive them for relief of suffering.
A painting of beauty and brilliance Mesmerizing even in distance Can you deny the splendid view? Allow serenity to fall into you.
I hope my poem gives you a spring in your step and helps you to appreciate Nature’s offerings, and I’m turning off comments for the sake of time. Yours and mine! 🙂 I will miss our connection and interaction, but I will see you next week. Until then, enjoy the upcoming weekend and each day, for each day is a gift. I appreciate you all so much! ❤️
Let us gently walk on this tightrope called life, trying to keep our bodies still, our minds calm which easily slip into the grip of worry, because prying the ‘worry fingers’ away from worn-out brains nearly takes the jaws of life.
Make each step gentle to avoid tumbling into a rabbit hole of anxiety, sliding deeper into shadows that frighten, and softer steps are healthier than getting stuck in the muck of negativity that will weigh us down like an overloaded backpack.
The tightrope may fray though. It could snap with one wrong footprint.
So, our light steps are obligated to keep us balanced.
Our gentle steps will steady the wind in our wings.
When I read Brian’s post at WritingfromtheheartofBrian where he shared a list of 100 things he loves, it really touched me. Brian’s posts and the essays he writes are always moving, humorous, and authentic. Please pay him a visit if you haven’t met him yet. Anyway, I picked up my loyal journal from where it rests on the coffee table, and began making a list. I seamlessly wove together things I love and things I’m thankful for. Perfect timing because here we are with Christmas just around the corner. The spirit of the season seeps into our hearts. For the sake of time, I tried to narrow my list down to 50, but I couldn’t. Now this says it all! And I went a few over! 🙂 These are in no particular order.
Family time.
Sharing life’s adventures with my best friend, my husband, for almost 36 years (37 since we met).
1989
3. My dog, Copper. He’s 14 years old and doesn’t go fast and far anymore, but he’s doing well. 4. Good health – this is no laughing matter, as my dad used to say. I don’t think I grasped the profound meaning when I was young, but now I get it. 5. Baking – carrying on my mom’s tradition. 6. Singing – my passion since I was 9 years old. 7. Barbara Streisand – my vocal idol who I was fortunate to see in concert – the most magical evening! 8. Elvis Presley – I was only a teenager, but his voice was incredible and he was so handsome. 🙂 I was lucky to see him in concert with my family two years before he passed away so young. 9. Redwoods – I feel a sense of peace and reverence whenever I’m in their company.
10. My childhood cabin – memories of Yahtzee nights and Mom’s lasagna! 11. Chocolate chip cookies made from scratch right out of the oven! 12. Sunsets, especially at our favorite lake.
13. Writing! Poetry, Fiction, a children’s book – trying new genres for a challenge. 14. Reading – getting lost in poetry that resonates or in the pages of a compelling book! 15. Poetry of Mary Oliver – I feel deeply moved by her poems. 16. Beautiful gardens – the colors, the life, the connections, the honey bees! 17. Addictive Netflix shows – Virgin River, Schitz Creek, Grey’s Anatomy, Gilmore Girls, & New Amsterdam. 18. Long phone chats with my daughter in TN. 19. Long phone chats with my son in CO. 20. Chardonnay on a Friday night after another work week has come to an end. 21. Going to the movies – the whole experience of relaxing in the recliner chairs and munching on popcorn. 22. Music – singing, dancing, listening, going to concerts. 23. A quiet drive on country roads. 24. Wine country in the spring and fall. 25. All animals, esp. dogs, and elephants – After I read two non-fiction books about elephants, I fell in love with the magnificent creatures. 26. Chocolate!
27. Hawaii. 28. Camping in a tent – I don’t mind roughing it and getting a little dirty. 29. Campfires in the wilderness.
30. The color blue like the clearest sky, a tropical ocean, and my husband’s eyes. 31. Musicals – The Sound of Music with Julie Andrews and Christopher Plumber top the list. 32. Small, charming towns. 33. Reminiscing through old photo albums. The memories… 34. Moving furniture around in the house. 35. RomComs: Pretty Woman, While You Were Sleeping, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, The Proposal, When Harry Met Sally
36. A hot shower after tent camping for a week. 37. Air conditioning on a 100 degree summer day. 38. A fun day at the county fair. I have great memories of going as a family, checking out the art exhibits, the pig races and petting zoo, riding the ferris wheel, and eating fun fair food: gyros and chocolate mint ice cream. 39. Noisy holiday gatherings with children’s laughter that evoke wonderful family memories of when my parents were still with us. 40. Christmas decorations inside and outside. 41. Coffee with hubby no matter where we are.
42. Typing. 43. A great sense of humor 😂 44. Kind people. 45. Ethical politicians. 46. Tacos and a margarita. 47. Jeans and t-shirts. 48. Hokas – my saving grace to mitigate foot nerve pain. 49. Jewelry – Silver, gold, beaded, all kinds. Necklaces, earrings, rings, bracelets. I love to accessorize! 50. Blogging and the wonderful friends I’ve made! 51. My Apple watch – changing the photo & using for exercise. It’s simply fun. 52. The moon! 53. Visiting my daughter in TN. 54. Visiting my son in CO. 55. Technology when it works! LOL 56. My white Mazda CX-5. 57. Disneyland – Childhood memories of having Disneyland in my backyard. I love Disney! 58. Compassionate and trustworthy doctors – I am grateful for the care and treatment my family has received at Kaiser over the years. 59. Purses. 60. Backpacking with my husband! The tranquility, carrying all we need on our backs, the photos, the memories!
61. Hiking. 62. Holding a book in my hands. There’s something special about the feel of the cover and pages. 63. When Paxlovid kicked in during Covid, even though the metallic taste in my mouth was unpleasant for a week. 64. Organization. 65. Playing in the snow: sledding, snow shoeing, tobogganing, tubing. 66. A lush, green lawn. 67. Carrot cake. Did you know it counts as a vegetable? 🙂
Made by my son for my birthday a few years ago.
68. Sitting on our patio on a summer evening, watching the hummingbirds. 69. Stinson Beach. 70. Heat in the house on a cold winter’s morning. 71. A live Christmas tree adorned with ornaments the kids made and ornaments that were given to us.
72. A new roof that cost too much but that keeps us dry. 73. A house we call home. 74. The feeling of euphoria I had after giving birth to my daughter and son. 75. Walking hand in hand with my husband. 76. Paying someone a compliment. 77. Waking up early in the morning and enjoying quiet time to read, write, or blog. 78. Reveling in the joy when my husband gets home from an awesome motorcycle ride. 79. A simple walk around the neighborhood. Each time, it’s a different experience. 80. When my kids tell me they love me. 81. Receiving Christmas cards. 82. Getting together with friends. 83. Motorcycle rides with my husband. 84. Lucille Ball. The laughter never ends! 85. Enjoying a day at the beach. 86. Attempting a new creative endeavor and succeeding. 87. Reading the blogs I follow. 88. Listening to the rain from inside my cozy home. 89. How comfy my bed feels at night when I’m tired. 90. Any body of water.
91. The excitement of a new year’s possibilities. 92. Riding bikes in Lake Tahoe. 93. Weekend getaways. 94. Having something to look forward to. 95. When my children graduated from UC Davis. 96. Self-publishing a new book. 97. My poetry and stories getting published in literary magazines. 98. Opening all windows in the house on a beautiful spring day. 99. Emojis ❤️🥰🎉🤗🙏 What can I say? They’re fun! 😍 100. Bodega Bay. 101. Pain-free days and nights. 102. Samuel P. Taylor Park. 103. Point Reyes. 104. West Marin. 105. The Cheese Factory.
Could any of these land on your list? I’m sure some from Brian’s are the same for mine. And that’s okay. Like- minded individuals! I’d love to hear your thoughts! Thanks for taking the time, and for stopping by today! I appreciate you all for visiting my little corner of blogland. ❤️
I have read that a book can be promoted for any amount of time, not only on the heels of its release. Editor Barbara Leonhard from MasticadoresUSA proves this fact because my poetry collection, Ever So Gently, was released 16 months ago. So, I am honored and thrilled that my book is still being read with positive reviews flowing in after all this time.
Barbara says, “Scott’s poems may enable readers to find answers to their soul’s longings.” To read her beautiful review, a wonderful testimonial from Diana at Myths of the Mirror, and to learn more about my poetry collection, please click on the link below. I hope to see you at Barbara’s place. ❤️
The vast space of emptiness will never feel right Communication sustains but the heart feels short-lived relief no room for logic the heart carries a stubborn streak
Moments missed Hours missed Days missed fleeting of time The miles from here to there, like a ball of yarn unraveling over hills, through valleys getting snagged on jagged edges along the way
In a daze, I’m slowly slipping down a rabbit hole about to surrender the very best of my soul where darkness cloaks itself around me Air, no longer reality
Sadness befalls the world outside as sky-falling tears slam the earth I’m tumbling with them in a frenzy The first teardrop rolls down my face leaving a chill in its wake before disappearing beneath my jaw My back slides down the wall I’m drenched in sobs
Then reason meets my reflection I challenge my emotions because pain trails closely behind – I’m inviting stress, and I can’t handle one more ache Does this make me selfish?
Humans are complicated Emotions are complicated
Some days, the golden sphere dazzles me into dancing Some days, the shadowy sky lures me into that daze I can feel my heart breaking I can feel each piece tear away I won’t have strength to sweep up the mess…
but this love is stronger than I ever thought I could feel a love in my heart that will need to be the glue… it is what it is ‘till it isn’t anymore maybe someday… until then, the vast space and I will need to reach a truce.
I see the tears rolling, slowly, but with purpose. Will you let me dry them? Your invisible scars are as visible as words of anguish in your eyes. But there is no room for shame even though time swiftly moves while memories remain.
No, you don’t know me well, and I can’t relate to the nightmare that stole your self-worth, and we haven’t exchanged a friendly conversation over tea, but you can trust me. I only wish you kindness in your unfair moments of nothingness.
Please don’t let your soul accept blame – fingers point in one direction, and the compass lies in the palm of your hand, leaving blisters of terror as evidence. I’ll help you pick up the pieces from your shattered heart. I’m not afraid of a cut. If you’ll let me be your glue, I’ll fit them gently back together.
You wear the mask beautifully because you are beautiful, but isn’t it time to let it fall to the earth like a raindrop? To heal cracks on the inside and approach life on the outside?
Allow your soul to sing with melodies of celebration. Allow your soul to dance in elation, for you have walked through hell, felt the burn beneath your feet, but you have reached the other side and welcomed the reassurance of light.
You have one decision that is yours alone. No one will take it away… so how do you want the world to see you?
Baydreamer Writes ~ Lauren Scott, Author 