Expectations

After a rainy, yet cozy Christmas Day, the day after was clear and gorgeous – Nicasio Lake.

Oh, What do you see
As clear as can be?
Hope on the horizon –
A glimmer of possibility!

When you hear the word “expectation” what thoughts come to mind? I immediately recall the many times my expectations of others were unreasonably too high, thus, leaving me extremely disappointed. A lesson learned…

On the other hand, expecting something to occur or to change can also be a form of positive thinking. Here’s how the wheels in my brain have been working lately: after such a tumultuous 2020 that so many are eager to view only from the rearview mirror, I expect the new year that is literally just around the corner, to outshine this current year without question or doubt. A vaccine is already accessible to some and will be available to the rest of us, hopefully, in the first quarter of the new year.

Am I too optimistic? Maybe so…we may have a few more months to mask up and social distance before normalcy arrives again. But I want to believe that we will be able to walk down the street someday soon and see others smile and not just through their eyes. We won’t be so paranoid about dodging droplets and touching surfaces.

So, I choose to be optimistic as we clink our glasses at midnight on December 31st and to expect good things to come after all the stress, loss, and pain. After all, what have we got to lose? When positive thoughts abound, our hearts and minds remain calm, and calm is certainly a place where we should hunker down.

What about you? Will you join me? 💗🥂✨🌟💗


Lauren Scott (c) 2020 💖
New Year Photo: Google

Wow!!!

Dear Friends,

I haven’t felt like doing much blogging lately, so I’m sorry for missing so many lovely posts. But, as a follow-up to my recent blog post, health issues have been resolved, although some gray area needs explaining and clearing up. So we’re still waiting, but all is a bit brighter. Then just when we sighed with relief, another cause to worry arrived this week, but we’re not alone. It’s been a tough year, period! In so many ways!

Even though negative thoughts tend to stick like glue, when positive thoughts arrive, they are welcomed like a warm embrace. So, we carry that positivity with us everywhere we go because suggesting a mindset of the opposite would only create doom and gloom. And I can’t help but fall gracefully into the magic of the season even if Covid lurks in the shadows. I love the Christmas carols, the twinkling and colorful lights of joy, and this season of hope even in dark times.

Then, on my early morning walk with Copper today, the sunrise greeted me with a BIG smile. We just can’t have enough photos of sunrises and sunsets, can we? I looked to the sky and thought, “Wow! Another gorgeous sunrise! Another day to enjoy life and all the people and joys in it that make us so grateful.”

And in every dark moment, a hint of hope shines through…

New bloom!

I hope all of you are doing well in spite of this crazy, tragic, and stressful year. And if you’re feeling down, I hope the sunrises lift your spirits as you lean into people around who love you. And when the sun is hidden, I hope its warmth stays in your hearts, guiding you into each new day.

Sending virtual hugs, Lauren 💓💓💓🎄🎄🎄

Peace, Love, & Sunflowers!

My daughter took these photos in Tennessee
and these murals are too amazing not to share.

The artists are most likely local, so we do not take credit.
In fact, we applaud them not only for their talent,
but for the timely messages.

Don’t you agree the world needs a great deal more
of Peace, Love, and Sunflowers?

What a year this has been…so traumatic and devastating for many because of the loss they have endured, and for the rest of us, it has been a time where new normals could not be avoided – different ways of going about our everyday lives simply had to be implemented. For the west coast, fire season has come and gone, and gratefully, our first family of raindrops has arrived. Mother Earth smiles and sighs with relief.

Autumn officially presents herself and brings a cozy, warm complexion of spicy nutmegs, pumpkin oranges, burnt squash yellows, and pomegranate reds. Can we break away from the rat race even for a moment and remember to inhale, then exhale, s-l-o-w-l-y?
Do you think we can relax the pace and capture the magic around us that we would normally let pass by?


Maybe in that moment as the landscape shifts, we will feel gratitude for the gift of another day and the possibilities in a new year that are so close we can almost touch them ever so gently.

Love, Blessings, Happy Monday, & Stay well, Lauren 😊🧡🍁🍂🧡


Azure Sky

As blue embraces the glow
and pink shades shimmer,
I liberate my worries
then hope delivers.
With beauty so near
of a soothing deep sapphire,
thoughts become clearer.

I attended a painting party sometime ago and this landscape was my first attempt at painting anything, except for walls in the house. The process was so much fun and it was interesting to see the final masterpieces of the other “students.” Not a single one was identical. They were all vibrant and magical in the same color scheme, but included details only distinctive to the artist.
Then recently, a friend told me about Seguidilla poetry, which inspired me to write a poem to pair with the painting. And so, I present to you another first attempt. It’s good for the brain to step out of the box now and then and I hope you enjoyed
bot
h.
~Lauren 💗

Lauren Scott (c) 2020

An Ugly Pattern

George Floyd display May 2020

Fires

Sparked by distress –

A wound never mended.

The days are not tearless. Have we

Not seen

those same hot flames from nightmares of

yesteryear’s pleading cries?

Let change take root.

Listen.

spreading love in the neighborhood

 

The recent tragedy of George Floyd’s murder and the civil unrest that followed inspired me to jot down the various thoughts whirling around in my mind. I have more to say noted on the pages in my journal. But instead, I chose to try a another new form of poetry: a butterfly cinquain. So my words are few, but the message is huge.

Then yesterday on my walk with Copper, I came across these two displays – both profound and moving in their own ways. I couldn’t walk by without taking photos, so I give credit to my compassionate neighbors for acknowledging the ongoing injustice and the senseless murder of George Floyd, and for spreading much-needed love. This heart is one of many on a sidewalk that I admire everyday, and the collection began when Covid wormed its way into our lives. Even so, spreading the Love is part of the solution in every situation that brings pain. I thought this beautiful heart was a fitting end to what I’ve tried to convey. 

My heart is still heavy, but Hope for change is not lost. 💗

Lauren Scott (c) 2020

Beauty along the way…

As Copper and I enjoyed our morning walk this morning,

Copper smelling the flowers by Steph

I couldn’t help notice the vibrant blooms along the way. Whether they blossom in our garden or in the neighborhood, they have served as an exceptional balm during this time of sheltering in place. Copper even knows when it’s time to slow down
and smell the flowers…

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“Miss Bougainvillea, luxuriant and sturdy,
unaware of her magical attributes.”
Yours truly

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“The earth laughs in flowers.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“Love is a flower you’ve got to let grow.”
John Lennon

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“The flowers of tomorrow are the seeds of today.”
Anonymous

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“After women, flowers are the most divine creation.”
🙂 Christian Dior 

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“Where flowers bloom, so does hope.”
Lady Bird Johnson

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“Bloom where you are planted.” Anonymous

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“But he who dares not grasp the thorn should never 
crave the rose.” Anne Bronte

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“Their colors bring infinite joy
as they are cared for with pride.
The thorns do not lessen their beauty –
not one delicate petal is denied.”
Yours truly – an excerpt from one of my poems

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“Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light.”
Theodore Roethke

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“Spring has returned. The earth is like a child
who knows poems.”

Rainer Marina Wilke

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A Cup of Spring

Miss Spring sips her tea
as we anticipate
her arrival.

She says, “Be patient,
I will soon bring you
colors so pleasing

and new life, delightful.
But first, Mr. Winter
must finish acting
out his scene.”

Yours truly

I believe Miss Spring kept her promise and I hope these gorgeous blooms were as soothing to you as they were to me. 

Lauren

 

 

 

Fingers across the keyboard

Dear Friends,

This is a follow-up to my last post on Sept. 19th, and I’m typing as thoughts pour out, so this is more raw than edited. As you may remember, I’ve had a medical issue that landed me in the hospital over a month ago, and I’ve been anticipating a procedure that hopefully would’ve brought answers. Well, the procedure was last Thursday, an ERCP. It’s where a tube passes through the mouth, esophagus, and stomach into the first part of the small intestine. Then a catheter goes into the bile duct to detect causes for high liver enzymes (all non-alcoholic related), severe abdominal pain and jaundice. The doctor injects a dye so that x-rays can be taken of the biliary ducts. I’ve provided an image below if you’re interested. 

Image result for bile duct and liver anatomy

Surprisingly, the doctor (a bile duct expert) couldn’t get the instrument all the way down, in fact, barely down at all because my common bile duct is so scarred. I’ll spare the gory details, but long story short, it was incomplete. This means I have to repeat it next month. Honestly, when he spoke to my husband and I after I had been in recovery and I found this out, I felt depressed. I felt my shoulders drop, knowing, first of all, that I still have no answers, secondly, he still can’t rule out some scary diseases (one of which my daughter has), and thirdly, I have to do this procedure again. 

Everyone was so nice, though, and I’m grateful for an awesome team of doctors – doctors who we know because of our daughter’s experiences. And my doctor was genuinely disappointed with the turnout. But he’s also performed enough of these that he knew when to stop trying before causing complications. I thank him for that.

So, the symptoms I’ve had can be caused by gallstones in the bile duct (gallbladder is out), Primary Schlerosing Cholangitis (PSC, the auto immune disease my daughter has), or Bile Duct Cancer. I admit to being scared and have had some emotional moments. I hope it’s just stones, which are dangerous alone. Any of these causes affect the liver because if bile isn’t taken from the liver through the bile duct into the small intestine, the liver then becomes “sick” and begins to fail. Liver failure is fatal. For PSC, the only cure is a liver transplant, which is what we’re anticipating for our daughter in the future – a future that holds so many uncertainties. 

So why I am blogging about this? I don’t know. Maybe part is to bring awareness to the bile duct and how rare some medical issues can be involving it. Until our daughter was diagnosed, I didn’t give the bile duct a second thought. Nor my liver because I’ve never been a big drinker. This whole thing has been surreal – the fact that I’m experiencing everything similar to my daughter’s symptoms. She doesn’t drink alcohol at all, so it’s just an auto-immune disease that chose her. Ask anyone who knows me..I’m a lightweight when it comes to drinking. So, it’s all a case of being unlucky just like those who are diagnosed with cancer or some other horrible disease.

The upside to sharing what I’ve been undergoing is that in spite of the continued anticipation, the unpleasantries of another ERCP, or fear of the unknown and known, for that matter, life goes on. I feel better physically, although my throat still hurts, but it’s better than yesterday and the day before that. My mindset is healthier, and that doesn’t mean I’m not realistic either. The outcome will be good news or it will be daunting news. Regardless, I want answers. I want to know what’s going on inside me. However, I’m not trying to burden you by posting about this. Maybe what I’m going through will resonate with someone and be of some help even in a small way.

Selfishly, though, I ask for your ongoing positive thoughts and prayers. And I thank you for reading this longer-than-planned post. 🙂

Image result for moving forward

Moving forward with hope in my heart and love for my family and friends who have provided tremendous support. Lauren xoxo
p.s. The title of this post is credited to my son.
p.s.s. Both images are from Google.

A Trio of Sorts

An icy gust shadowed him
around the corner,
grazing his earlobe and
sending chills across the way
His Italian wool threads
exuded perfection
even as he slid into leather –
heading for someplace
he labeled important

Then birdsong matched
her mood and with her cell
on speaker,
passersby became privileged
Her long coat sufficed,
but she tightened the belt
as the gust wrapped itself
around her like a python
When the hailed driver
met the curb,
she smugly skimmed
over the back seat
until satisfaction found her –
phone chat uninterrupted

And across the way,
huddled against the
weathered building,
he imagined a handful
of warmth
yielded from his worn beanie
and threadbare coat –
layers of blankets
occupied his dreams
No complaints fell
from his chattering teeth
Instead, his eyes were alert
and his mind formulated wishes

Lauren Scott © 2018
(re-write)

 

 

The Face of Happiness

sunflowers to be 2018

My last post on the topic of mass shootings was depressing, although 
another chance to bring awareness to this frequented tragic issue in our country.
However, I thought it was time for a more hopeful topic. So, this photo shows
sunflowers-to-be! Yes, sunflowers growing from seeds (one of three pots), and
watching them sprout evokes feelings of awe and wonder – awakening
excitement and promise of tomorrow and of new life.

After they grow to around 12″, we’ll transplant them in the ground. We’ve 
also planted some seeds around the yard and are enjoying watching those
sprout up, too. We have a garden area in front of the house that might be
a good place for transplanting these – for tall, happy sunflowers greeting
all who stroll by. The trouble is that we have deer wandering around all
the time. So, we’d have to put some kind of wire fence around them. Other-

wise, we’d be providing lunch for the dear deer. 🙂

Anyway, below are some quotes I found online…

“All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.”
~ Chinese Proverb

“The tiny seed knew that in order to grow, it needed to be dropped in dirt,
covered in darkness, and struggle to reach the light.”
~ Anonymous

“The season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success.”
~Paramahansa Yogananda

“The earth laughs in flowers.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunflowers are happy flowers. They exude joy and friendliness, don’t you think? Fingers are crossed and with our love and care, we pray these seeds will grow to their full potential. I’ll keep you posted, and I hope you enjoyed this splash of hope and inspiration. xoxo

sunflowers

(Goal in sight) 🙂

 

Presence of Mind

The window’s blinds remain closed
closed as folks stroll by, oblivious
oblivious to the darkness
darkness deeper than sight, though
though, sight alone suggests flickering
flickering of a hope so minute
minute enough to miss its presence
presence of mind to see its strength
strength required to step forward
forward at a time of endless challenges
challenges with painful, steady grips
grips leaving no room for faith
faith, however, lies within that flicker of hope

Lauren Scott © 2018