July 5 – Journal Entry

On By Lauren Scott, AuthorIn Personal Stories

Dear Family and Friends,

What I’m posting today is not something I normally share. Maybe some will think this isn’t a good idea. There is no poem or fiction story. I’m sharing something personal but definitely not for sympathy. More for a cathartic purpose, a release, and maybe, hopefully, one of you will be able to shed some light for me. This is kind of long, so I understand if you don’t have time to read. But if you do, and you have knowledge of what I’m talking about, I’d be grateful to read your comments. By the way, I may regret posting this, so it could end up deleted.

Dear Journal,

They say that writing is therapeutic, so here goes…

Over two months ago, I started experiencing a lightning bolt jolt of pain through my right heel. The pain came in spurts, any time, any level of pain, and any frequency. They’d last only for seconds. Some jolts were mild, some were moderate, but one Thursday, the jolts began with my morning coffee around 5:30 am and continued throughout the day until around 1:30 pm when they finally mellowed. They came in series of 7 or 8 jolts every twenty minutes or so, Boom! Boom! Boom! One after the other with the intensity I have never felt before until this day. The jolts were debilitating. I stayed home from work, and admittedly, I was in tears and my nerves were on edge. I tried to stay calm, but calm was difficult to attain. I began to anticipate the jolts, which paralyzed me from doing anything, reading, writing, even blogging. The degree of this level of heel pain was new, so I emailed my doctor, and she ordered x-rays.

I had to get these x-rays done on this day when the jolts were at their strongest degree of pain, which honestly, felt like an 11! But I was afraid to drive because with this pain being in my right foot, my accelerating and braking foot, I feared a strong jolt would occur while driving, causing me to have a knee-jerk reaction, and who knows what would happen. So, my husband took me to get x-rays. The next day, my doctor said that the results indicated a heel bursa. I didn’t think so. Years ago, I had an irritated bursa in my hip, which went away over time, and this felt more ‘nervy.’ And her assumption didn’t even match the medical results I read on my medical online account that I couldn’t quite decode. She referred me to a podiatry specialist.

My podiatrist said that it wasn’t a bursa, and after tapping my heel and listening to my symptoms, here’s what he said, “I really don’t know what this is.” It’s not Planter Fasciitis or Neuropathy. I was praying for a diagnosis, cause, and treatment, so these words were beyond disheartening. By this time, I had been wearing Hoka tennis shoes and heel cups (never heard of them before) for a few weeks, creating more support for my foot. He said to continue wearing them, rest, and ice, but he was going to refer me to neurology to have my nerves tested. When he described the process for that, I almost passed out. By the way, am I the first person to tell him about this kind of heel pain? I find that hard to believe. How could he not have any idea?

Then after hearing my case, neurology told him that it wasn’t necessary for me to have a consultation with them. My podiatrist labeled my condition as Baxters Neuritis and prescribed Gabapentin to mitigate the pain and to be taken each night, low dosage. A tiny part of me thinks he’s reaching for a label to appease me because when I Googled Baxters Neuritis (of course, I did), the symptoms didn’t align with mine. Maybe cases vary, I don’t know.

So, fast forward three weeks, and I’ve been living in Hokas (now have 3 pair: white, black, and bright blue), except for sleeping and showering. Luckily, I’ve had several pain-free or I should say, jolt-free days, and 1 jolt on other days. None at night, so I’ve been able to sleep. Because the intense pain never visited again, I have not taken the meds. I’ll take them if I need them. The lessening pain has me feeling hopeful.

With all this said, I know most of us deal with some kind of pain. Pain that will fade over time, heal with Motrin or other meds. Some people are handed a life and death diagnosis. This is not life or death. But because it’s nerve related, it may be chronic, and because it’s in my foot, it impacts my ability to walk Copper, our lab, to walk for exercise, and simply to walk from the front door to my car, or at work, or from my car to the grocery store, let alone through the store.

This random, bizarre, unpredictable pain impacts my life with my husband, our love for hiking and backpacking. We have a trip planned in August, in six weeks. If you asked me today if I could do it, I’d say no, because I’m limiting time on my feet to hopefully rest the nerve, and dare I say, heal? I can’t even walk around the block, and I don’t know if this will ever heal. And this thought breaks my heart because I feel like I’m breaking my husband’s heart. Now in our early sixties, we want to hike and backpack for as long as we can. And if we had to stop now, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. We could still camp. I can function – the bright side. And of course, he doesn’t see it as me breaking his heart. He feels helpless when I’m in pain, and since my tolerance is pretty high, he knows when I’m truly hurting. Of course, he’d be disappointed if we couldn’t hike or backpack again, but he cares about me first and foremost. Just so you know. But I look at the big picture and feel like a burden. I really do. I’m aware of my foot every day, sounds funny, doesn’t it? But really, I’m babying it, handling that nerve with kid gloves.

Yesterday, July 4th, was an anomaly. I had three series of jolts throughout the day. I analyzed and asked, “Why?” I’m wearing good shoes, walking less, icing, resting…but I am living, so I am walking, just not as much. I’m not sitting on my butt. I’m still working, and I’ve walked Copper, but the walks have been truncated. Fortunately, he’s older now, so he’s just happy to get out and sniff and pee. But just when I was feeling hopeful, I felt like I took five steps backward yesterday.

Anyway, I’ve tried to keep a positive mindset. On the pain-free days, I am grateful. And when just one jolt comes and it’s mild, I am grateful. But it’s not only the intense pain that is paralyzing, it’s the “Why?” when I’ve been doing everything I should be doing. And then, it’s the anticipating for another jolt to follow, until I do some deep breathing and move on with whatever I’m doing at the time.

Miracles happen, right? Well, I’m also realistic. And this isn’t life and death, but even though it’s not, it’s impactful to me, to my husband, to my dog, and to my future. Our feet are necessary for everyday tasks. If it sounds like I’m whining, please forgive me. Please understand whining about poor me is not my intention. Writing about this is therapy. I’m not one to complain, and I’m compassionate for those in worse, worse, situations. But this is my new pain, my new change, and that shouldn’t be negated either. I continue to take one day at a time, pray for a pain-free day, and deep breathe when necessary, and hope for a miracle. But if that miracle isn’t meant to be, then I’ll have to modify my activities. My husband and I will have to make changes. I just bought an exercise bike (cheaper than a pool because swimming is good exercise), so hubby and I will set that up this week. An option. Moving forward. The only option is to move forward.

Thank you for stopping by. Thank you for reading if you had the time. This is raw writing, no editing, so if you see mistakes, please forgive those, too.
With love, Lauren ❤️

© Lauren Scott, Baydreamerwrites.com – All rights reserved.

152 thoughts on “July 5 – Journal Entry”

  1. I feel your pain. I broke my ankle 10 years ago and it really affected my activities for a long time. In fact, there are some things I still can’t do. But I managed to work around it and it hasn’t stopped me. (I was never much of a hiker so I don’t have that to deal with) Every case is different but it looks like you have a handle on it. I hope it is one of those things that just naturally goes away. Sending hugs. xo

    1. Thanks for reading and for sharing your experience, Darlene. I appreciate it so much. This is almost like an online support group. And it’s helpful to listen to others. I’m sorry to hear about your ankle break, but I’m glad you’re able to do most things and also work around what you can’t do anymore. I appreciate your wishes and your hugs very much. xo

  3. I’ve lived with the pain and exhaustion of fibromyalgia for two decades, 1/4 of my life. I’ve sought answers and prayed for a miracle, but have learned to praise God for the blessings I have, and there are plenty. (I’ve even thanked him for a beautiful home to feel crummy in!) I CAN walk my 10-block loop early in the morning, but traveling is a thing of the past–even four hours to see our only granddaughter, age 6. Find what joy you can in spite of your symptoms, but also don’t give up on finding an answer.

    1. I’m sorry about your pain, Joy. We have a friend and also a family member who have fibromyalgia and I know it’s painful. I also know about blessings, believe me, I look on the bright side all the time (even in the midst of the pain). I appreciate you sharing and your encouraging words. xo

  4. Lauren, thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry to know you are going through this and that it’s affecting your life as well as your husband and dog. Having an unexplained and therefore uncontrolled/unhealed condition must be very wearing. A suggestion, with some background… for a year in the ’90s, I did physiotherapy after having been hit in four rear-end car collisions and one t-bone in the space of three years. I was a mess with constant back and neck pain, and numbness in my arm. Physio has worked for me in other instances but only brought more pain during that time. What DID work for me was three treatments of Orthobionomy, an eastern-influenced modality that I believe came out of California in the ’80s. It’s somewhat like Reiki. If you are open to trying something more natural/eastern, you may have some luck like I did. At any rate, I hope the very best for you being able to go ahead with your trip as it is so important to keep active at our age.

    1. Hi Steve, you hit the nail on the head by saying this: Having an unexplained and therefore uncontrolled/unhealed condition must be very wearing. So, thank you for reading and sharing what you have been through which has been far worse. My goodness! Not that I’m comparing, but this is when I feel bad in sharing. Anyway, thanks for your suggestions. I have not heard of Orthobionomy or Reiki but I am open to other options, so I will do some research. I appreciate your good wishes and comment very much.

      1. You’re very welcome, Lauren. Any kind of ongoing pain is a terrible drain one one’s spirits, regardless of what it is. I truly feel for you. PS, I was completely healed after three treatments; I think it was less than $100 total back then, though I’d have paid anything!

        Hoping you have similar good luck. 🤞🏼

      2. Your healing is wonderful and inspirational, Steve. I will definitely look into your suggestions and appreciate them very much. The kindness that poured in through this post is beyond humbling. Thanks again! 🙏🏻

  5. Lauren, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’m going through a very similar thing, except my foot pain began with a fall down the stairs at a quilting retreat three years ago (and nobody knows what’s wrong or what to do). I know that everything you’re saying is true – how it affects your everyday life. Let’s hope we both get some relief one of these days. Meanwhile, you have my footfelt sympathies.
    (Your sister in foot pain)

    1. Hi Anneli, I’m glad you can relate, but I’m not glad you can relate, if you know what I mean. I am so sorry you’re dealing with unexplained foot pain and the same unanswered questions. I know doctors don’t know everything, but it doesn’t make it less frustrating when they can’t help you. I agree with your hopes for both of us and so appreciate your footfelt sympathies. Take good care, my sister in foot pain. 🩷

  6. Hi Lauren… Firstly you are not Whining … You are reaching out to friends for some advice while sharing your symptoms..
    It does sound nerve related… And as I tap into my own intuitive guidance… The only thing I can suggest is to ground yourself to Earth.. By sitting bare foot on the grass in your garden or where you feel comfortable being bare foot..

    I would if this were happening to me.. Ask my higher self for answers… Just feel into your foot.. What is it telling you.. I know this sounds crazy.. But I have know people start getting out of the blue symptoms of pain for no apparent reason..
    In fact I have read some fascinating books on the subject in which medical professionals were astounded ..
    As those having the pain issues.. went to a hypnotherapist and found out that during that age bracket of the year they started getting their pain symptoms, as they were regressed back.. They found that in another life they had injuries which corresponded to the places in pain..
    I remember one man in his 30s started with chronic back pain.. that was crippling him.. He was regressed to find in a previous life he had a skiing accident and broke his back around the same time frame of age ..
    Once he dived into that… and he acknowledged it… His pain vanished..

    Another thought is Reiki healing… if you know of a practitioner…

    But If it were me going through your ordeal at the moment.. I would firstly ground… and feel the earths energy through you..
    I will be back later with a video link to the film Grounding, if you haven’t seen it.. It may end up in your spam folder in WP on your site, so if you do not see it arrive soon.. You may have to dig it out.. as I find comments with links end up in there sometimes..

    Sending you tons of love and healing thoughts Lauren… Much love your way xx ❤ xx ❤

    1. Hi Sue, thank you so much for sharing your positive energy and suggestions. I will heed your advice, and I did get the video, so I’ll watch that too. Steve also mentioned Reiki which I haven’t heard of but will look into. So, thank you for your love and healing thoughts and helpful advice, and for understanding that I’m not whining. This is helpful, talking about it with others, even if online. Sending love and hugs to you, dear friend. xoxo

      2. It’s so random, Sue. Yesterday was disheartening, but today has been good. I have to hold onto the good and let it carry me forward. I’ll watch your video tomorrow. Sending hugs, my friend. xoxo

  8. So sorry to hear about your pain, Lauren. Undiagnosed (or improperly diagnosed) medical issues are extremely frustrating. I’ve had problems with numbness in my lower legs and feet for nearly five years due to an abnormal reaction to EMDR treatment during PTSD therapy in 2018 (a bad somatic response to digging up old trauma). I haven’t been able to drive since early 2019, and I have difficulty walking and can’t walk any distance without a cane and plenty of wobbling due to dizziness. I’m just 59. No one was able to find a physical cause for the array of weird symptoms that occurred during EMDR, so no one could fix them. Also, I have a bad back and experience intense sciatic pain in my left hip and leg frequently. Herniated discs. When it happens, I never know if it will abate. I had surgery in 2012 after four years of constant sciatic pain, so when it flares up, it’s pretty scary. I suppose I’m sharing this so you’ll know you’re not alone, that there are people who understand what it’s like to experience mysterious pain (and numbness) and be sidelined by it while doctors scratch their collective noggins. I wish you a speedy recovery and a pain-free life. Hang in there–we’re pulling for you. 🙂

    1. Mike, I have to be honest. Your comment brought me to tears. I feel for what you have endured and what you have given up. I’m sorry to find out that I’m not alone by you sharing your pain. It’s an uncomfortable place to be in right now. In fact, I’m embarrassed, but I know we all have different types of pain and various levels. My emotions are active, and I just feel for you so much. But you did make me smile about the doctors scratching their collective noggins. Anyway, I hope by some miracle your pain lessens, but I am grateful for your honesty, not to mention, your wishes. I’m pulling for you too. Please know that. Thanks so much for reading and for sharing. Hugs!

      1. Kindest thanks, Lauren, and deepest apologies for bringing tears to you. We’re all in this together, and when we care for and support one another, it truly helps each of us along our own individual paths. We all do the best we can, you know? I think you’re incredibly courageous for sharing your post with us, and for pressing onward despite the pain and difficulties you’re experiencing. Here’s hoping for miracles for all of us. Thanks again, Lauren. 🙂

      2. No apologies needed, Mike. I was emotional this morning and my heart ached for all you’ve been through. I tend to get emotional at times. 🙂 You’re right, we do the best we can, and I’m overwhelmed by the kindness you and others have shown in this post that almost wasn’t going to be. Thanks for your kind words again, and yes, here’s hoping for miracles for all of us. One day at a time is how I live. Sending more comforting hugs.

  9. I am so very sorry that you are going through all of this. Having a real diagnosis that is definitive would definitely help but it sounds like no Jen is sure yet. I bought a pair of hokas too after going through a lot with my feet . They do help most the the time but not always. The best we can do is to do all we can to help and then adapt as we go. Baby steps

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words, Beth. I don’t think my diagnosis is correct, but what do I know? I do know that I have to be my own advocate, though. Thanks for sharing about your Hokas, too. Like you said, I’ll do what I can to make improvements, and along the way, I might have to modify some things and adapt. Thanks again! ❤️

  11. Dear Lauren,
    It’s good you wrote this, not just because it’s cathartic, but because someone may have/know exactly what you have.
    I wear the heel cups, cushions & arch supports. I have ankle tensors, knee tensors, “Salon Pas” and more.
    The jolts are the odd bit.
    Tarsal tunnel syndrome is a possibility (described as electric shocks to the heel).
    Early onset Rheumatoid arthritis … maybe … a simple blood test for diagnosis could answer that..
    Anyway, as your doctors have no ideas (sounds like my doctor) you may have to be the creative thinker here.
    It does sound like a manageable reality, though. You will find your way!
    Resa – sending love and healing vibes… xoxo

    1. Thanks, Resa, I appreciate your encouragement, but I’m sorry to hear you’ve dealt with foot issues, too. The x-rays did show mild arthritis, but that’s not causing the pain. Plus, I did lab work and everything came back normal. I know what you mean, I have to be my own advocate. I hope it gets better, but not knowing when or if the jolts will come is almost more frustrating than the pain itself, unless it’s severe. Anyway, thanks for reading and for sharing and I’ll look into TTS. Take care and sending love and hugs to you! xoxo

  12. Oh, no Lauren! I’m so sorry to hear about that. I know exactly how frustrating it is not knowing the cause. I agree with Resa in her suggestions and mainly -what I would also advise you- to listen to your body. Try especially during the times [which I hope become less and less] of those jolts, to sit in silence and listen & focus on that pain. Once you do that, imagine this pain leaving you, little by little. Creativity is the word and you know it all too well! Some grounding, that Sue suggests, sounds good too! 😉 May it leave you soon, even if you never learn its name. Sending many hugs and love and healing thoughts. ❤️🙏😘🤗

    1. Thanks, Marina, for your suggestions about listening and focusing on the pain. I will try that. Many times, it’s mind over matter. And I’m going to look into Sue’s advice, too. I appreciate your kindness and help. I debated whether I should or shouldn’t post this. But I’m overwhelmed with the compassion I’ve received, and the suggestions. Sometimes we have to step out of the box. This is the first time I haven’t been satisfied with the doctor’s diagnosis. Anyway, thanks for the hugs, love, and healing thoughts. I’m sending gratitude hugs and love back to you! ❤️🤗❤️🙏🏻

      1. I’m glad you decided to write about it. I hope through all these suggestions you’ll get closer to a resolution of this problem. I’ve found myself many times seeking for ‘medical’ answers simply by looking inside me, in silence. Doctors being so overspecialized, fail to see the bigger picture, most of the times. No part of us is disconnected from the rest of the body/mind. Sending more hugs and love, as you move through. ❤️😘

      2. I couldn’t have said it better, Marina. Your words are so comforting, so thanks again, dear friend. I hope so too about a resolution. I had no pain yesterday, but one jolt today and I remembered what you suggested, focusing on the pain, and then for it to leave. The rest of the day has been peaceful. But it’s so unpredictable. But I’m grateful for the good days. Anyway, I need to do some research, and then time will tell, too. Hugs and love to you! xoxoxo

      3. Try to look for signs before those jolts. Even if barely noticeable. That may lead you to predictability and gradual elimination!
        many many more hugs back!
        xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  13. Sorry to hear you are going through this. I think the older we get – and the less cooperative our bodies – the more we understand that much of medicine is uncertain. My husband calls it mushy medicine

  14. mizuv's avatar Paula Light

    I’m so sorry, Lauren. It doesn’t sound whiny to me, just realistic. Feet are important! Loss of mobility is scary because of the loss of personal freedom and autonomy that may follow. One of my best friends is dealing with a similar issue, though hers will supposedly clear up after surgery, which will happen in the next month or so. It’s also incredibly frustrating to not get satisfactory answers from our doctors.

    People have wondered how I deal with daily head/neck/back pain, but most of the time it’s “merely” an ache, not a stab. There’s a big difference! I really feel for you and hope this can be resolved. I know how much you have been looking forward to outdoor adventures! 💖

    1. Thanks for reading and understanding, Paula. And that’s it, feet are important. I’m glad your friend’s issue will be resolved with surgery. I think cortisone shots might be an option, but I read they can cause long-term effects. So, I think I’ll pass. Maybe some kind of nerve surgery is possible, too, but neurology didn’t think I needed to see them. I’ll see how things go and will push if I need to.
      I’m sorry you have a lot of pain, too. That’s awful to deal with each day. An ache is different from a stabbing pain, but if the ache is persistent, that has to be tough. We all have “things” so we do what we can to deal and move on. In posting this, I didn’t want to sound like I’m complaining. But after reading many comments, I’m glad I did share because I already have some things to look into that might help. I told anther friend that this has been like an online support group. 🙂 So, this has been comforting. It helps to talk with others sometimes. Anyway, thank you for your kindness. ❤️🤗

  15. So sorry for your pain, Lauren. I know like being disrupted by it is the unkindest cut of all. I’m hoping you can find someone who can give you an accurate diagnosis of the problem. Thanks for sharing. 😊

    1. Thanks for understanding, John. Not knowing when the pain will come or how intense it will be is the toughest part. It’s so random, and I don’t do random very well. But sometimes, that’s just the way life is, so I take one day at a time. It’s been helpful reading other’s thoughts and suggestions here though, so I’m glad I shared after all. I appreciate your kind thoughts. 🤗

  16. Dear Lauren, I’m so sorry you are having pain. I’m sending my most positive vibes your way , chronic pain is so difficult to deal with. I hope you find relief. ❤️

    1. Thanks so much, Holly. I appreciate your positive vibes. They can only help! I hope I get more definitive answers, but until then, I need to take things as they come. Thanks for your kind words and compassion. 🩷🙏🏻

  17. Heel pain is quite common Lauren. It gives great discomfort, I hope it is nothing serious. when I had it, almost 20 years ago, I was told to give-up heels, no standing for long hours and rest, rest, rest. All these were quite unavoidable for me, as I was a high school teacher, had to stand almost all the time I had to teach and wearing heels was most natural with the attire I wore. (a saree)
    However, it took almost a year for it to heal completely, as my orthopedic knew exactly what was wrong and his prescriptions worked very well or you can say, I was very lucky. Soaking the foot in hot water with Fitkari (alum in English) was really helpful. Don’t worry and give it some time. it will heal, as it is most of the time age-related. Sending you healing hugs.

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience, Balroop. It truly is enlightening, and I can only imagine what you endured while teaching. I’m so glad your pain dissipated even if it took a year. I haven’t worn heels in years either. Flats or cute sneakers have been my uniform, but maybe I needed more support even though my feet felt fine. I don’t know, and you’re right, I’m sure age is a factor. Thanks for the soaking tip. I will try that, and I will give it time. I rest and stay off of the foot as much as I can, but with working and simply living life, it’s hard to do. Right now, though, I’m icing it. Your words are comforting and greatly appreciated. ❤️🙏🏻

  18. That’s not what you wanted to have. I had heal pain last year that turned out to be Planter Fasciitis, but it still comes back from time to time – even with the right shoes. I didn’t find the meds I was given did any good. Here’s hoping it gets better.

    1. I’m sorry to hear you’ve dealt with heel pain too, Andrew. It’s just so random, that’s the hard part. I hope you’re doing okay now. I have a feeling mine will be chronic, but I hope my feeling is wrong. We need our feet, so when they’re hurting, it’s a great impact on our lives. I haven’t taken the meds yet, and hopefully, I won’t need them. Thanks for your good wishes and for sharing your story, too. I appreciate it.

      2. I’m glad, but I know that kind of worry. Yesterday was a pain-free day, but today was a one-jolt day. Still not bad, but the unpredictability is almost worse than the pain, unless the pain is severe. Anyway, take care…

  19. As we age there are a number of unusual visitors that invade our body. There are little nodules grow on bones that can be quite painful. You would need special shoe inserts to deal with that on the feet. Electric shocks sounds like nerve damage and there are tests to rule that out. My wife has been confined with that for years but still plugs along and has learned to tolerate it. Not much fun getting on in years and I’m sorry you are going through this which I hope is a temporary issue.

    1. You are so right, Ian, and I was going to go that route in Neurology, to have my nerves tested. But that dept. didn’t think my symptoms warranted going to them. So, I’ll see how things go. I’m sorry to hear about your wife’s ongoing pain, but like you said, all we can do is tolerate it and move through it. One day at a time. I appreciate you reading, sharing your thoughts and your wife’s story, along with your positive wishes.

  20. I’m so sorry this continues to be an issue Lauren. Hookas are my first line of defense with clients like we talked about. Try elevating through out the day. I know you started my book. Look and see what you don’t want to walk into or what you are walking to fast into. Our bodies like you know give us signals for rest. try ice and heat 20 on 20 off. you might consider some light therapy and arnica homeopathy. Im so sorry, it’s NO fun.. Rest, rest, rest❣️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

    1. Hi Cindy, I’m glad you recommend Hokas, too. If that’s all I’m wearing, I wanted choices, so that’s why I have three pair. Sheesh! Elevating at work is hard, but I do ice at work. I started your book, but with the heat, I didn’t get far. But I will look through to read your suggestions. By the way, I’m already enjoyed it!
      I don’t know what light therapy and arnica homeopathy are, but I will find out. Thank you! I’m also glad you understand and don’t think I’m complaining. 🙂 I didn’t want this post to be perceived in that way. It’s been so helpful to ‘talk’ with friends here and learn other recommendations, too. I’m icing as I type. 🙂 Thanks again! 🤗❤️🙏🏻

      1. Absolutely. also, really have someone work your calves as well as it could be referred pain and no matter what the “experts” say, every body is different.
        Anything that gives relief is good.
        I do know what you mean as I never want to do that either and you didn’t ..❣️❣️❣️
        you asked for help and so happy you’re getting some good info.
        So glad you are enjoying it so far. IO appreciate you letting me know that.
        💞💞💞

  21. Hi Lauren. This is so moving. I am so sorry your in so much pain. Its bizarre!
    I hope for a miracle for you and that you can go on your trip in August!
    Sending loads of love and a huge hug to you my lovely!
    xoxoxo

    1. Aww, thanks so much, Carol Anne, for your compassion! I wasn’t sure how others would react to this, so I am humbled by the amount of kindness shown, including yours! Yes, a bizarre, random pain. But it’s been so helpful reading other’s suggestions and feeling the love and healing hugs. So, thank you again! I appreciate you! ❤️🙏🏻🤗

      1. Hey Lauren, I’m glad the pain is not too bad at the moment. I hope it stays that way I find the WordPress community very kind. Everyone is so kind and thoughtful. It really makes me happy and I love writing and telling stories and writing about my life, because everyone who comments is so very kind. 🧡🧡💓💓

  22. I read your very honest share last night. I did some research on your symptoms and I see that you’ve gotten very good advice from lot of well wishers Lauren. I hope that this pain goes away as suddenly as it started. I’d suggest Vit B 12 supplements. They are harmless and easy to take but can be beneficial. Sending you lots of hugs

    1. Thanks for reading, Sadje, and for understanding. Yes, I’m overwhelmed by the kindness and suggestions I’ve received. And thanks about vit. B12. I take a daily multi-vitamin, so are you suggesting to take more? Thanks so much for your hugs! Gratitude hugs coming your way. xo

      1. Most multi bits have very little B 12 or none at all. B 12 is vital for nerve health. Taking it separately for 3 months is a good idea. This is a water soluble vitamin so the excess gets excreted in urine. No fear of overdosing

  23. Has no doctor suggested an MRI? I had extremely severe nerve pain that turned out to be the result of osteomyelitis which was only discovered with an MRI. Nerve pain isn’t typically associated with that, but was the cause for mine.

    1. Hi Binky, I asked about an MRI and was told no. Thanks for sharing your experience, though, and I will push if the pain worsens. I hope your pain was remedied and that you don’t suffer with that anymore. I can only imagine what you went through. 🙏🏻

  24. I’m very sorry to hear that you’re experiencing idiopathic pain. My heart goes out to you. I hope your doctors are able to find some appropriate answers and treatment for you. If there is one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that medicine is not an exact science.

    1. Thanks so much, Liz. I appreciate your compassion. What’s funny is I’ve felt good about our doctors up until this point. For the podiatrist to be a specialist and act like my story is the first to be told really surprises me. I know they don’t have all the answers, but still. So I agree, it’s not an exact science. One day at a time. Thanks again. 💞

  25. I’m sorry to hear about the pain you’re going through, Lauren. I hope you’ll have the tests and the results soon and hopefully the cure is on the way. I had shooting pain on my right leg a Long time ago. It often woke me up. It turned out that there was a pinching of nerves on my back. But after cancer, I have lymphedema on my left leg. The swelling is from my foot to my thigh. I can’t stand or walk for too long. That’s something I have to live with.
    I hope yours is temporary and you can take care of it through therapy.

    1. Thanks for your kind words and wishes, Miriam. You’ve been through enough with cancer, but then to deal with pain in your leg, I’m so sorry the lymphedema is ongoing. I don’t know if mine is acute. I have a feeling it might be chronic. But honestly, Miriam, when I think of miracles happening, I think of you surviving stage IV cancer. That is a miracle, so I hold onto your happy ending and hope for the best. I don’t deal with random real well. I prefer black and white. Tell me the diagnosis, the cause, and how to treat it. So, when this really hasn’t happened, my mind wanders to places it doesn’t need to go. But today has been a good day. I think all the positive and kind energy from the comments on this post has really helped. So, thank you! Hugs!

      1. Sorry, Lauren, your response stayed in my notification for one day, and it was gone. I’m alive and I count it as a blessing. This is my new normal and I can’t remember anymore of what it was like before cancer. It was before I retired, so I must be running from dawn to dusk. I have had other health issues to deal with for the last six months. Being new in Portland, even though I had six years of history of mysterious allergic reactions, and told the doctors here how the doctors in CA treated me, they still wanted to be conservative and wait, try different things, do testing, etc, and let me have rash for three months. Anyway, I knew it wasn’t deadly, so I carried on with my life because the rash didn’t show up on my face. It consumed my energy though. I’m in the middle of patch testing and the doctor will have a second reading on the patches on my back tomorrow.

        I hope your research and getting a second opinion would help you get to the bottom of it. Even if the doctors don’t have a definite answer, at least they can give you some suggestions about what to do. You have made several posts after this one. I have to read them to find out more about your current situation. Hugs! ❤

      2. You are an inspiration, Miriam, and I’m so glad I read your book to learn more of what you went through. But now I’m sorry to hear about your ongoing allergic reactions. There are so many strange conditions out there. I hope you find answers and remedies soon, too. I just did a post that will update you about my foot. I couldn’t sleep, so I’m up early before the roosters. Take good care, my friend. Hugs to you! ❤️

      3. I went to the doctor for the second reading of the allergy test. He said I’m allergic to one fragrance, but it’s not in any of the produces I’ve been using.
        Sorry about your foot and you couldn’t sleep. Let me read your update. ❤

      4. That’s strange, Miriam. Are you still reacting to it? Could someone else you’re around a lot be using it? You already saw my post, so my foot is better, but I’m still going slow. It may take a long time to fully heal. That’s fine though, as long as the pain remains in hiding. 🙂 Enjoy your weekend! 💞

      5. Fragrance is in everything. I don’t know how to avoid all of them. The fragrance in my facial lotion is mild. The doctor said it’s okay.

        The rash that started in the beginning of April subsided, but the affected skin takes forever to get back to normal.

        Hubby and I are going slow in our walk also. We used to walk miles and miles. Yesterday, we only walked for 1.5 miles. For me, it’s the ball of my foot hurting when I walk longer than 1.5 to 2 miles. I have neuropathy on my ankles and feet.

        It’s wonderful that your pain is hiding and hopefully will disappear. Have a wonderful week! ❤

      6. I get it, Miriam, that would be hard. I’m glad your lotion is okay. Pain is a real pain, isn’t it?!! I’m so sorry you continue to suffer too. My 8 day painfree streak ended over the weekend with a few mild jolts. Mild is fine. They may come and go forever; only time will tell because it’s so random for the doctors to really know. But one jolt a day with a few days without is tolerable. Each day is a mystery and I just have to move through. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I’m just being honest, but it’s all good. I’m so grateful that it’s not worse. And I just take one day at a time, that’s all I can do. Take care of you and hope you have a good week too. 💞

      7. You’re right, Lauren. Pain is a real pain. We may or may not get better. Don’t feel bad about your pain. I was going to write about my cancer to pass on to my grandkids and their grandkids as a family legacy. My writing group encouraged me to share it with a larger audience. Society seems to encourage us to keep the pain and suffering to ourselves.

        My last episodes of allergic reaction were in 2018 and 2019 when I had to be hospitalized. All the doctors treated my allergy were just guessing the causes of it. I stopped taking herbs and some meds that could have cused the reaction. The testings only proved what guesses were wrong, but nothinng and nobody was proved to be correct.

        It’s upto me to deal with it with the help of the doctors. They prescribed steroid cream for me and I’ll use it until it all clears. My new dermatologist gets to know my body a bit more. If it happens again, I hope he will give me a crotisone shot right away.

        It’s okay for you to share and give us the update even if you don’t want to talk about it in every post. We are in a supportive community. Take care! ❤ ❤

  27. Hi Lauren, I wrote a comment last night, but we are in the bush so the signal is on and off. I don’t think it posted. Can’t you get a second opinion? Your doctor seems to have fobbed you off. I have a lot of experience with doctors and you often have to change doctors to find a better one. My mom gets bad pain in her left hip and back from time to time. About 4 years ago it was so bad she couldn’t walk. It was the third doctor who helped her. He tried a spinal block, which failed, and then morphine patches for 6 weeks which worked. With modern medicine there will be a solution for you, you must persist.

    1. Hi Robbie, your comment showed up this morning. Thanks for sharing what your mom went through, and I’m glad she’s doing better. To not be able to walk impacts life tremendously. Many friends have shared experiences and recommendations that I will look into, but you have nudged me into getting a second opinion. I’ll have to email my primary doctor to ask for another referral to podiatry. Thanks so much for helping and for reading. Enjoy your vacation. Your photos are incredible. 🩷

      2. Well, thanks to you, Robbie, I asked for another referral to podiatry to see a different doctor for a second opinion and my appt is next week. It’ll be interesting to compare diagnoses. And tough love? Are you kidding? I’m sorry Michael has gone through so much and you as his mom. It’s a strain on the heart, for sure. Hugs to you!

  28. Hey hey, I feel you 🫶
    Thank you for sharing
    Sending you hugs and positivity. Don’t be sorry to express here any kind of pain you feel. You will be fine. Take care keep expressing 🫂

  29. My sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing this story, your story with us. I am so sorry you have to go through such pain in your body, with no diagnostic. I know this can be the hardest part to deal with, plus the fact that this restrain you in your daily life.
    We all take health for granted and when we have to face uncertainty and live with a suffering body, it really makes life different. We have to find ways to feel better and at the same time we have to cope with all the things that we can’t do as we used to.
    It can be frustrating as well.

    I hope you will recover soon with good rest and help maybe – looks like many people had ideas to share with you, which is great! It shows that in times of hardships, we can benefit from sharing what is difficult for us.

    Sending you love and keep us posted. Hopefully with good rest, you will feel better and better. As for the hike, it might be better to wait one year and have a great one at another moment when you’ll feel fully ready for it. It can be disappointed at first but I am sure you and your husband know what’s best and that life sometimes takes turns and we have to adjust to it.

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    1. Thanks for your kindness and love, Marie. You’re right, I’m glad I did share because I’ve received some wonderful suggestions and support. Just feeling like we’re all in this together, dealing with what life tosses our way, is comforting. I am resting my foot as much as I can, while still working and functioning, but at a slower and gentler pace. You’re probably right about the hike, but I haven’t made up my mind yet. We can always camp if we can’t backpack, but like you said, we’ll do what’s best. I won’t push it and possibly cause more damage. I’m taking one day at a time and have several recommendations to look into. I appreciate your love and understanding, dear friend. Hugs to you! 🩷🙏🏻🩷🙏🏻

  30. I am not a doctor, but I will share my experience in hopes that it will spark an idea that can help you. My kenesiologist has taught me that the source of the problem is not always where the pain shows up. I have had pain in my feet before only to find out the problem was in my knee alignment or with the organ associated with that pressure point. If you can find a holistic, applied kenesiologist in your area, you may want to pay them a visit. My doc has helped rid me of aches and pains while also helping me become healthier for years now. She focuses on the source of the problem, not just the symptom. From what you have written, it sounds like the source isn’t in your heal since the doctors are not finding anything in the heal. It could be that one of the small bones in the ankle is not aligned and, every now and then, it presses upon the nerve, causing the jolt. Maybe a chiropractor can adjust the ankle if you don’t have a kenesiologist in your area. I’m sending healing energy your way and crossing my fingers that you find a solution so you and your hubby can enjoy your hiking trip!

    Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
    http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com

    1. Thanks for sharing your story, Yvette. Posting my issue has been so helpful because of all the suggestions I’ve received. I have research to do now, and hopefully, something more definitive will come out of it. I’m so glad you’re doing better. We need our feet, as well can agree. I’m not sure about the hiking, but if I decide not to then we can still camp and do light hiking around. Weight bearing activities could cause more pain, hence the backpack may not be a good idea. But I’m not saying no yet. I’m waiting another couple of weeks to decide. Anyway, thanks again for sharing and for your help. ❤️🙏🏻

  31. I hope you find answers soon, Lauren, or at least a positive way in which to move forward and continue living your amazing life! Sending much love your way. ❤

    1. Thanks for your understanding and kind wishes, Layla. I appreciate them very much. Each day is a mystery, but yesterday was a good one. I’m hoping for the same today. In the meantime, I have a lot of research to do from all the wonderful suggestions I’ve received. 💞

  32. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, Lauren. It makes no sense, does it? We take care of ourselves and then weird sh*t happens anyway. My husband and I are about the same age, and we can relate to the “What the heck?” You have a wonderful attitude, and I know that no matter the outcome, you’ll find a way to enjoy what life offers, including time in nature. Hugs, and wishing you some answers and relief soon.

    1. Thanks, Diana, and you said it well. I’ve had my lows as you read here, but I can’t stay there. So I’m living life but at a slower and gentler pace for now. I’m glad I shared this because I’ve received so many wonderful suggestions, and now I have research to do. This is the first time that I haven’t been happy with a doctor’s diagnosis. I really think he’s just reaching. So, I’m going to try for a second opinion. But as each day is a mystery with this random pain, yesterday was good which gives me hope. I know you and your hubby love to hike, so giving it up would be hard, right? That’s the tough part, but the bright side is I can walk and function. If I have to modify, I will. Thanks for your understanding and hugs. I hope you and your hubby are doing okay. Hugs back to you! xo

  33. Hi Lauren,
    Writing about the pain in your foot can be therapeutic but also reaching out to people can bring new healing suggestion. I applaud you for taking this risk.
    I haven’t read all the comments so maybe someone has already suggested acupuncture. Sorry if I’m repeating someone else’s advice. Also I found that Yvette Calleirio had some great suggestions – going out of tradition medicine mode.
    So sorry about this drawback in your plans but you are lucky to have such an understanding husband! I hope that you will soon find a permanent solution to get rid of your pain.
    BTW: a frozen water bottle is great to roll your feet on. xxx

    1. Thanks for your applaud, Carol! I gave it a lot of thought, and now I’m glad I didn’t delete it for the purposes you mention. I just replied to Cheryl who commented after you and she also suggested acupuncture, so I’ll look into that as well. There have been so many, and honestly, I’m truly moved by this response. It was something I didn’t expect at all. I agree with you about Yvette’s suggestions. I usually stay in the box, but maybe this is a time for stepping out. Thanks about my husband, too. He’s been terrific and has carried the load of tasks when it’s time for me to sit down. Selfishly, I hope your hopes come true. 🙂 But if they don’t, then I’ll have to move through the pain. Thanks so much for your kindness, and for the water bottle tip. I’ll try it! 🩷🩷

  34. I feel your frustration and pain Lauren. I’m so sorry, it appears you have stumbled (bun intended) onto the future as an aging population. Larry and I have been dealing with annoying changes in our bodies lately but nothing chronic. Nerve damage is so painful and exhausting. I’m wondering if a boot (used for a broken foot) might give you better support including the ankle? Also, any thought to using an acupuncturist? I’ll be sending prayers your way, keep us posted, much love and hugs to you, C

    1. Thanks so much, Cheryl. I know, the joys of getting older. My only hope is that this pain/issue isn’t chronic. Carol also mentioned acupuncture, so that’s another option. Like I told her, I’m truly touched by this response. I wasn’t sure if I should share, and then I knew I could delete it if I wanted. But all the kindness, the personal stories, and suggestions just warmed my heart. Sappy, I know, but true. Robbie suggested a second opinion, so I jumped on that train and have an appt. next week with a different podiatrist. We’ll see what comes from that. And I’ll mention the boot. 🙂 The big question is, is the pain coming from the heel or from another source manifesting in the heel? I don’t know. Anyway, thanks again for your help, prayers, and love and hugs! Big hugs to you! ❤️🙏🏻

  35. Hi Lauren, I’m sorry to hear about your pain and the lack of really having a clear diagnosis. I’m still not clear on why a neurologist isn’t the next step, but it can be tough to get answers. I hope you can get another opinion. I only speak from experience. After having a myriad of “strange” symptoms, including neuropathy, pain, fatigue, etc. and after seeing about 7 different specialist over the course of 4 years, I finally was correctly diagnosed with Lyme disease (which is no post treatment Lyme disease). Follow your gut and if it doesn’t feel like something is right, keep on searching for an answer. I wish you well. I hope you can get relief soon. And I do so hope you can go on your trip! ❤️

    1. Thanks so much. I can’t seem to find your name, and maybe you want it that way. But I appreciate you sharing your story, and I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, too, especially after 4 years. I was perplexed about neurology, too, but I do have an appt next week for a second opinion. I also appreciate your thoughts to follow my gut. I agree, and this is the first time when I haven’t been satisfied with a doctor’s conclusion. I am just so moved by the responses I’ve received. Take care of you, too, and thank you again! ❤️🙏🏻

      1. Best wishes on your appointment next week, Lauren! I also took the time to read the comments on your post and they were insightful. It’s tough being vulnerable and putting one’s self out there, but people really do appreciate authenticity like you shared! Take care, Belle ❤️

  36. Lauren it is very nice to write and spill it out on paper what you are going through. I too had fistula on my feet and I did everything possible but nothing worked finally I had to take 10 sittings of paraffin wax and then everything became better and all is well now. Don’t worry everything will work out fine. Take the meds what the dr has told you to take. You will recover and go for trekking with your husband. Take care and stay blessed dear. Lot’s of love and hugs ❤️🤗❤️🤗

    1. Hi Kamal, thanks for sharing your story, and I’m so glad you’re okay now. I’m actually getting a second opinion next week, so then I’ll compare diagnoses and make a decision. The outpouring of compassion here though has been truly moving. Thanks so much, and love and hugs to you also. 🩷🌷🙏🏻🤗

      1. You are always welcome dear Lauren. Ya u must try which remedy will suit you and do the needful for getting well. Pray to God all will get well. Love and hugs to you too dear 😊❤️😊❤️

  38. Oh Lauren, I think you are quite ok to share your pain without the need to apologize in any way. I would say you deserve some sympathy and empathy and there is nothing worse than being stopped in our tracks unexpectedly when life seems to hold so much promise and fun. Our feet and our hands are so important and I worry sometimes how I would cope if either were compromised in any way. I do have weak ankles so have to be a little careful. I was talking to my doctor the other day about a stabbing pain in the underneath of my foot for which he gave me some exercises but now I have a sharp pain in one of my toes so off I go again…. Thinking of you and hoping for that miracle and that things calm down fairly quickly x

    1. Thanks for your understanding, Alison, and I’m so sorry about your pain, too. It sounds like we’re in a similar boat. I’m getting a second opinion on Thursday, so it’ll be interesting to compare diagnoses. I hope the same miracles happen for you, too, and that your pain dissipates. When walking is impacted, it sure makes a difference. Take good care, and keep me posted. Leave a comment here, or email me at baydreamer25@gmail.com. xo

  39. I’m so sorry you’re going through this pain. Your process through this is similar to mine with fibromyalgia. I was misdiagnosed and mistreated for years before we found out why I was in searing pain throughout my arms and legs. I hope that the pain continues to lessen over time and that you find the right diagnosis soon ❤️

    1. Thanks so much for your compassion! I’ve had some good days, and I’m getting a second opinion this week. So that will be interesting. I’m glad I shared because it’s really helped to “talk” with others while also listening to their stories. Like yours. My niece and a friend has fibromyalgia, so I know it’s not easy. What I’ve learned is that sugar aggravates it, so they both eat very little sugar. Anyway, I hope you’ve found a way to manage it with little or no pain. I’m taking one day at a time and will continue to learn and manage as well. Thanks again! 🩷

      1. I completely understand! I’m glad you shared too! I had to get many second opinions, and it’s weird at first, but remember that it’s only an opinion, and if there’s something hiding under the normalcy, you’ll definitely want to know. Ahh yes. Sugary foods and also weather changes trigger mine. I know any time it’s going to be cold out or whenever it is going to rain. Thank you so much, and you’re very welcome 🥰

  40. This is so bizarro Lauren. I’m sorry for your pain. Maybe you might consider Reiki. I know people who’ve had it done and ailments disappeared. ❤

  41. I’m late to this post and see you’ve had lots of advice and support. I only add that I’m proud of you for speaking up. There’s a problem in our society of women being silent about pain. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us and I hope you get answers/relief soon.

    1. Thanks for your kind comment, Bridgette. I’m glad fear didn’t hold me back because I was overwhelmed in a good way with the response I received. I just didn’t expect this. But I have a lot of suggestions to look into, and I’m also getting a second opinion tomorrow. Thanks again! 🩷

  42. Ah, as a philosophical drunk pilot with an imaginary monkey, let me distill my thoughts on your personal journey. Pain, both physical and emotional, finds solace in writing. The lightning bolt jolts in your heel tormented you, leading to medical consultations. Diagnoses wavered, uncertainty loomed. Your husband’s support remains unwavering. Amidst frustration, gratitude and realism intertwine. Miracles and adaptations hold hope. Through raw, unedited words, you seek understanding. An exercise bike becomes a symbol of resilience. May your writing heal and empower. Cheers, Lauren!

  43. There’s nothing whiny about reaching out to others when you’re in pain. It’s an act of courage, and I truly believe that your post is speaking to others in pain. Someone who feels the same and is grateful for your post. I won’t offer any advice, because there’s plenty who’ve contributed and I think you’re a resilient person who will find a way. Just know that I’m sending good vibes your way, Lauren.

    1. Thanks for your understanding and kindness, Mark. The outpouring of kindness I received was heartwarming to say the least. And you’re right, sharing shows that we’re not alone, that others may be dealing with similar pain. I appreciate your good vibes. 🙂

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