The window’s blinds remain closed
closed as folks stroll by, oblivious
oblivious to the darkness
darkness deeper than sight, though
though, sight alone suggests flickering
flickering of a hope so minute
minute enough to miss its presence
presence of mind to see its strength
strength required to step forward
forward at a time of endless challenges
challenges with painful, steady grips
grips leaving no room for faith
faith, however, lies within that flicker of hope
Lauren Scott © 2018
The repetition is powerful here, Lauren. I feel the hope you speak of in your words – great writing! ❤
Thanks for your lovely words, Christy. This is my first attempt at a loop poem, so I’m glad it turned out. 🙂 Hugs for a great weekend!
Beautifully done Lauren. I like the whole but particularly these lines:
challenges with painful, steady grips
grips leaving no room for faith
faith, however, lies within that flicker of hope
Miriam
Thanks so much for your wonderful comment, Miriam. I was inspired to try a loop poem after reading Audrey’s beautiful writing: https://oldestdaughterredheadedsister.com/2018/04/22/prairie-missive/.
I’m so glad you liked my first attempt. What’s funny is that I almost shortened it, leaving those lines out that you mentioned. I took my daughter’s advice to leave the “whole” poem as it is. 🙂
Enjoy your weekend! 💗
Powerful words, profound thoughts – and you finished with a flourish. All in all, a great effort.
Well done, dear friend 🙂
All good wishes,
Eric
Thanks, Eric, for your encouraging words, which are great to hear since this is my first attempt at a loop poem. 🙂 Wishing you a great weekend, my dear friend!
Lauren, wonderfully written and the repitition of the last word to the next line’s first word adds intensity and focus … I’m glad for the flicker of hope at the end as the darkness was obliterating all light.
Thanks so much, Annika. I read a beautiful loop poem on another blog and became inspired. And there had to be hope at the end. 🙂 Hugs 💕
May the future bring light.and comfort.
Thanks, Ben. The context is actually more general than specific to my life though. I think most could probably relate to it. 🙂
Equally my blessings are both general and individual. 🙂
Thank you, and the same to you, my dear friend.
Nice use of structure for emphasis.
Thanks, Binky. I appreciate your words, as this is my first try at the loop poem format.
I didn’t know there was a name for it, but you used it very effectively.
Thanks again, Binky! 🙂
So well done, Lauren! ♡
This is amazing!
Thanks so much, Audrey! Your beautiful poem inspired me. I have some pending poems sitting in a folder, so I worked off of one of those, which came in handy. 🙂 Wishing you a good weekend, and I’m still keeping positive thoughts for you. Hugs 💕
Reblogged this on John Cowgill's Literature Site.
Thanks so much, John! Your generosity is much appreciated! Have a blessed weekend!
You are very graciously welcome.
Oh I love how it loops back! Well done!
Thanks, Rama! I was inspired by another friend’s beautiful poem and gave it a try. I’m so glad you liked it!
Lauren, I too find the repetition very powerful. This is so poignant… empathizing with you and sending a hug. 💞
I appreciate your encouraging words, Betty, coming from the awesome writer that you are. 🙂 I’ve never written a loop poem, but became inspired by Audrey’s poetry a few days ago. This poem itself is more general, so all is fine on the home front, but thank you! Hugs to you for a great weekend, too!
We’ll be in the yard planting new flowers; so happy spring is finally here! ❤🌼🌷🌻
Glad things are fine there, Lauren. Hope you had a great weekend!
I’ll be a little scarce here for awhile because of back pain flaring up. (Argh!) Frustrating.
Will try to check in on you when I can. Meanwhile sending hugs! 💞💞
So sorry to hear your back is hurting again, Betty. Just rest and take care of you. That’s what’s most important. Sending healing hugs back to you, too. xoxo
Really beautifully written, and yes the repetition makes a very strong statement.
Thanks so much! I appreciate your comment! Have a wonderful weekend! 🌷
You too xx
Thank you! 💕
Well written Lauren, affirmation of thoughts in each line.
Thanks so much, Ian! I appreciate your comment very much! Wishing you a great weekend, my friend!
Yes hope may be only a flicker, but it is a powerful force moving us forward.
It sure is! Thanks for your feedback, Ian, and enjoy your day!
Lauren, this is beautifully written. I especially liked the lines:
“challenges with painful, steady grips
grips leaving no room for faith
faith, however, lies within that flicker of hope”
This is such a powerful poem. Love and hugs, my friend. 💗💗
Thanks so much, Michelle! I’ve never written a loop poem before, so it’s great to receive positive responses. I almost cut those lines out, though, creating a shorter version. My daughter advised not to and I’m glad I took her advice. 🙂 Big hugs, my friend, and wishing you a blessed Sunday. 💕
I’m so glad you did. 💗
Love this form with the repetition 💙
Thanks so much, Iris! My first attempt at this format, too. 🙂 💕
wow – Lauren – this is simply amazing and creative with such powerful message!!!
Thanks so much, Mihran! I appreciate your most encouraging comment, as this is my first try at a loop poem. I don’t think it’ll be the last, though, because it was fun to write. 🙂
I’ve never read a loop poem before and absolutely love the intensity and emphasizing of certain key words. And what would we be without that flicker? Beautifully expressed, Lauren, as always! 😊💖💖💖
Thanks, Sarah, for your oh so lovely comment! I’m glad you liked this format, too. And yes, that flicker is what keeps us going, for sure. 🙂 Sending lots of love and hugs your way! 💗💗💗😍